Emery Grace: Youtuber {discontinued}

(completed janya problems)

"Em, do you mind staying for awhile? I have something to ask you." I nodded with a smile, motioning for the others to go ahead as I talk to Tanya.

"What is it?" I tilted my head and observed her reaction. She was nervous, that's for sure. Very doubtful. Whatever she's about to say is very, very serious. Tanya's gaze kept on moving around, as if trying to find an escape from this yet knowing that she had to face it. Finally, she sighed and looked at me.

"I'm having some doubts..." She whispered and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking like a huge weight was dropped on her and she was reaching her limit. I tilted my head once more, but this time in confusion. She bowed her head, hair falling to cover her face. And when I saw a tear drop onto her arm, it was an immediate sign for me to rush to her side.

"Hey, hey... Ju-Just let it all out, Tan..." I murmured. I stayed silent, just hugging her and letting her cry silently on my shoulder for a while. I waited for her to say something because I couldn't say anything. What could I even say in this situation? I don't even know what the situation is!

"Do you think Jim and I are gonna last?" She asked, her voice laced with concern, sadness, and doubt. I didn't understand her question at first as I was focused more on comforting her, but when it did, it's an understatement to say I was surprised.

"W-Why...? What?" I stuttered out. I didn't know what I expected her to say but this was definitely not it.

"Jim and I have been together for years now. We're engaged! But.... I just... I don't know!" Tanya exclaimed before bursting into tears again. "What if we're still together just because everyone thinks we're a good couple? What if we're subconsciously just being pressured to stay together? Our relationship was kind of complex sometimes, anyways! I've seen some comments saying that I don't deserve him, and they're right! I don't! He's such a sweetheart and I'm just a stupid, dumb, useless person. What if we don't really love each other?"

"Tanya. Look at me." I pulled her away and held her by the shoulders. "You are not stupid. You are not dumb. And you are definitely not useless. You're an absolutely amazing person who is very successful, yet very humble, and also very much loved. You're the beautiful woman that Jim fell in love with and if you love each other enough that you've been together for this long, you definitely deserve each other. Do not listen to those comments, Tan."

I saw her thinking about it deeply, but her eyes were clouded with doubt. Insecurity can do the worst things to a person. It could speak in your head and influence your mind, but you won't even realise it until you're at the edge of giving up. It would be hard for anyone to reach out to you because you're slowly becoming deaf from all the whispers and shouts of insecurity. You just keep thinking that people don't care about you, but in reality, they actually do. I sighed before standing up and collecting a piece of paper and pen from the nearby desk and quickly returning to her side.

"I'm not the best at giving advice about these types of things, but here's something I remember my high school teacher told me. I'm going to talk to you about math." I saw her confused, yet amused expression. "Don't worry, I'll make it fast and easy."

"So, you have 2 + 3i. 2 is a real number and 3i is imaginary, which makes this math expression complex. If you multiply this complex thing here to 2 - 3i, you would get 13, which is a real number." I explained as I wrote down the solution to the question.

"The point I'm trying to make is that sometimes you start with something complex, and end with something real. You and Jim might have had complications, but your love just became stronger and more real every time you got through it together. You shouldn't doubt it."

"Do you love Jim?" I added.

"I-I..."

"Tanya, do you love him?" Her eyes fluttered shut and a tear escaped. She pursed her lips and took a deep breath, yet was still unable to answer.

"Okay, I'll change the question. Imagine how your life would be like if you and Jim got married. Imagine your future together." It took awhile, but her shoulders started to relax and a small smile appeared on her face. Slowly, her eyes opened and she looked at me with a huge grin on her face.

"Em, it was beautiful!" She gushed. "We'll have an adorable dog who's going to be an absolute beauty. We'd be getting married outdoors, at a really beautiful place with all of our close friends and family there. And there's lots of trees and flowers and everything. Then maybe we'd have a child or two, and they'd be playing around on the porch of our house and..." Tanya sighed, looking at no specific thing, seeming to continue day dreaming about her future.

"And what about your future without Jim?" I interjected. She looked at me and immediately answered. "Em, I don't even want to think about that. It would be a horrible one and I wouldn't be sure how to even survive and---"

"So you see now? You love him and he loves you!" I smiled. Her face brightened up again as I said those words. "All those comments saying how you think you don't deserve him just goes to show how much you actually do."

"Em, you lied when you said you weren't good at giving advice." She playfully glared as she started to carefully wipe the tears away from her eyes, making sure to not mess up her makeup. I shrugged.

"I'm not good. I can help people find solutions though, I guess... Also, I've spent quite a while being single, so I've observed other people's situations when they go through these things. Amira went through this and I had to help her." She grinned at me.

"Well, God forbid you go through this. I don't think anyone would know what to do. And you and Joe are just adorable and perfect for each other anyways. You're like..." She paused as she pondered on what to say next. "Strawberry and chocolate."

"Because strawberry tastes divine alone, and chocolate is absolutely incredible, but put them together and you get something incredibly divine," she giggled. "You're both amazing individuals and you guys are like, the best, but when you're together, the best becomes better."

"You don't complete each other," Tanya mused as she smiled at me. "You don't need to be completed, you're already yourselves. You both just bring out the best in each other... Sorry, I'm rambling here and I might not even be making any sense."

"No, Tan," I said. "I understand what you're trying to say. I think you kinda just summed up how I feel about our whole relationship, how I feel about Joe. Because, when we weren't together yet, I never really felt like anything was missing. I never felt that maybe I should be in a relationship. I felt good, normal, okay, content, happy. But when Joe and I actually started dating, he just made everything better. I constantly enjoy being alone at home and watching stupid movies on my laptop, but I love it more when he's there with me and laughing at the corny jokes. I love the idea of meeting up with friends and family, but the idea becomes better when Joe gets to be there as well. When Rami and I gets into stupid bets, it's absolutely comforting when I know that he's on my side. It's just... better."

"You guys are such goals." Tanya squealed after my little monologue. Which was #rude because it was so heartfelt and I get a '#goals' reply. I rolled my eyes at Tanya, which she just laughed at before pulling me up and dragging me off to the door insisting that we 'have to catch up with the others! Who knows what they're doing now?'