Dumb Book Moments

Dumb vampire moments

-He always has a name like: Draven, Ryker, Alec, Trent etc

-They're warm and tan. WTF vampires are dead, they do not have blood circulation and their organs are pretty much useless so they should be white and cold.

-Tall, dark and handsome/sexy are the only words you can describe a vampire

-They can transform into any animal. Last time I checked they were VAMPIRES NOT SHAPE SHIFTERS

-Instead of finding a vampire girl friend he falls in love with a bipolar chick with resting dead inside face.

-a human girl is sold as a slave to this sexy vampire dude and one moment she's all rebelling against him the next they're 'totally in love' and having sex. Really bitch

-The actor who plays the teen vampires are always emo guys like Alex Evans and young Andy Biersack

-Hair is either described as black as night or crimson red

-The guy vampire is gorgeous but has a controlling, cocky personality

-Girl vamp names are always: Veronica, Raven, Sasha, or Violet

-Vampire falls in love with a vampire slayer

-VAMPIRES. DO. NOT. SPARKLE.

-Girl runs her tongue over her fangs every time a drunk guy hits on her

-Those pussy vegetarian vampires that only suck blood from animals

-Vampires and werewolves are apparently best friends

-At least one vampire character has to have extreme OCD

-The main girl (usually human) never dies no matter what.

-Vampire gang drinks human girls blood everyday but she is still healthy and looks beautiful

-''Say my name (insert name here).'' He growled. ''Say it!.''

'' Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez.'' I couldn't resist this makes me laugh everytime I hear it.

- They keep bottles of sunscreen everywhere.

-Vampires are the gothic versions of superman

-The only thing they do when fighting is hiss, jump and turn eye colors. Are they cats now or something?

-Female vamps all have big boobs and small waists

-Teen vamps still go to school even though they are 6000 years old. And to top it all off they are the sexy jocks that bully those below him

-They have no manners what so ever.

-Vamps in training are pussies that are always in a corner crying about the rabbit blood he just drank

-Vampires vs. werewolves. Winner gets the girl

-Male vamps have the same description. Jet black hair, piercing blue eyes, flawless white skin and toned body. Can we not please.

-Twilight. Nuff said.