Goofed: A Short Story Collection

Billy Goes to the Department Store

Billy was tired. So tired, in fact, that he could barely keep his eyes open.
"Boy, am I tired," Billy exclaimed. He collapsed on the floor for a quick snooze. Unfortunately, the wood planks of his floor didn't quite do it for him. Billy wasn't very wise with his money. Denying himself the luxury of furniture, he instead insisted on burning all of his cash on fuzzy socks--a weird obsession of his.
Billy struggled to get up from the floor as he thought, "Maybe it's time to invest in one of those mattresses." He looked out the window, only to spot a nearby department store.
"I'm sure they have some nice mattresses," Billy stated. He pulled on a pair of fuzzy penguin socks and started out the door. He was going to turn a new leaf, clean up his act, and finally get some sleep!
Ding. A bell rang as he opened the door. There was not one customer or store clerk in sight in this little store. "Maybe they're all taking naps. Sounds like a fun job. Perhaps I should apply here later," Billy yelled out loud, due to no one being around. Billy liked to scream.
Billy walked through the aisles. Beans, greens, apple bottom jeans, and boots (with the fur), but no mattresses! Billy was about to give up on his life when he noticed a door at the back of the store.
"Surely, that's where the mattresses are," Billy coughed. He opened the door to find one wee little lamp, lighting the room just enough to highlight the massive mattress lying below.
"Oh, yes," moaned Billy. He laid himself down on the heavenly mattress; his body fat sinking into the cushions and sheets.
"Ahhhhhgghhhguggghhoohhhhhmmmm," moaned Billy as his vertebrae slowly snapped back into proper position. Sleeping on the floor for two years sure had taken its toll on Billy. But wait, something was wrong! Billy hadn't stopped sinking into the cushions! He was nearly submerged!
A gravely voice came from the mattress and growled. "Nice socks."
Billy's life was in jeopardy. But, he thought, was being swallowed by a huge mattress really that bad? He could enjoy the bed forever, and never have to pay the bill! Billy smiled as his head sunk in. He had accepted his fate.
To this day, nobody really knows what happened to Billy. All that was left at the scene was a pair of fuzzy penguin socks. The police refused to investigate further.