Goofed: A Short Story Collection

Jackson Saves the Day

It was a beautiful day in the city. Jackson was in a great mood. He totally stole that girl's heart last night, his new expensive leather jacket was super fly, and his hair was done up real good. Jackson was the complete package.
    Crash!
    A man had just landed on a taxi!
    "Oh my! What," Jackson screamed hysterically. The now-deceased man, crumpled on top of the taxi, was covered in feathers. This beautiful day had just gotten really weird. But worser yet, the man driving the taxi must've been injured! Jackson ran to the vehicle and pulled out the man and laid him down on the road. The man was old, wrinkled, and dark skinned. Practically a hairy raisin. After chuckling at this mental image, Jackson inspected his injuries. His ribs must've been broken, as the man was having extreme difficulty breathing; just a guess ,however, as Jackson was no doctor. But, he did watch a lot of crime shows.
    The man tried to speak. "T-tell her," the man started coughing violently, blood trickling down his mouth, "tell her. . . I love her."
    Jackson's eyes started tearing up. Love was a beautiful thing.
    The man pointed to the nearby playground, "Tell Sally . . . tell her that I've always loved her."
    "Oh, no. Is that your kid or something?"
    "Uh . . ."
    Jackson's spine straightened, his tears incinerated off his eyeballs, and a noise that sounded something like ehhwuuhhgguhfuh erupted from his throat. "You have a crush on a kid, man," Jackson said, disgusted.
    The old man was taken aback.
    "I mean, geez, dude! You're disgusting," Jackson continued.
    The old man became furious, "W-what are you doing. . . ?! These . . . these are the last precious moments of my crap existence," the old man screamed painfully, blood flowing dangerously out of his mouth and nose. The old man attempted to speak in gurgles, "My . . . my last moment . . . and you're giving me a lecture?!"
    Jackson looked at the man in disgust, "You, my friend, need to get your act together. I know a therapist."
    That was the last thing the man heard.