Goofed: A Short Story Collection

Day 3

August 20th, 2016
12:32am

Okay, okay. Where to begin...

So it appears that I've been kidnapped by some kind of mad scientist. I mean, it's just a hunch, but I dunno. He looked normal enough, but...just the way he looked at me. I recorded our conversation on my phone, somehow he didn't notice.
Heh, these guys kinda suck at this whole hostage thing.

Anyway, I'll attach the audio file:

*a door creaks, footsteps are heard*

"Hello, friend. I hope you've enjoyed your stay at the HOSTAGE HOTEL!"

*forced laughter can be heard, these cohorts are easy to please*

"W-where did you take me?"

"What? The Hostage Hotel, like, dude. I literally just said that."

*awkward silence*

"Why did you take me?"

*the mysterious man chuckles at the question*

"You know, I'm glad you asked. I'm actually really excited about what we're working on, it's a real marvel."

"Please, go on."

"Well, believe it or not, you're my new test subject, you see, we at Cogzugg Inc. have been working on the true future of human development. And why you? Well, I kinda pushed the last one outta window."

*real awkward silence*

"Didn't go well."

"Yeah, yeah I kind of assumed as much."

"Look, I might've gone too far with the last guy, but you have my word that I will be extra extra careful..."

"Shut up and tell me what's really going on here."

*the man's goons can be heard grabbing my chair, ready to pounce*

"That won't be necessary, boys. No, you see, I understand. I will happily go into more detail."

*steps can be heard, the man inches closer to me, into my face*

"Cum."

"Excuse me?"

"Semen, straight from the testicles of the most powerful animals on the planet. Mix the stuff with some real cool chemicals, inject it into your bloodstream and wham. You have the perfect man slash animal hybrid, or how we like to call it round the office: a manimal."

"I don't think that's how science works."

"Oh but it does!"

"I'm almost willing to have you test this on me just so I can call b.s."

"Ha! Now that's the attitude I like to see! I'll be back in a few days and we'll begin the first stages of experimentation."

"Fun. By the way, can I get some food up in here?"

"Heh, yeah I got some granola bars around here, I think."

"Awe."

So yeah, pretty crazy, right? I guess I should try to escape, but I dunno, these experiments sure sound exciting. Definitely beats my usual routine.

Sincerely in...
...curiosity?
        Ted Hobbs