Goofed: A Short Story Collection

All That Flitters Is Gold

Crash.
Garret had been thrown through a window of the 54th story of his corporate tower.
"Psst. Hey Garret! Can you hear me," asked a voice in Garret's ear.
"Wh-what?! Is that you, Duncan," screamed Garret in panic, as he fell to his doom.
"Yeah, it's me! Fly, you idiot! I didn't pump you full of all that eagle DNA for nothing! Prove my research wasn't a complete failure," commanded Duncan through the earpiece.
"Fly?! Are you kidding me?! You throw me outta window and you just expect me to fly?!"
"Well yeah", Duncan said in a snarky tone, "I didn't give ya wings for nothin'!"
Garret looked at both of his arms, now covered in long feathers. Garret paused for a second. "Okay, Duncan. Tell me what to do."
"Extend your arms to the side," Duncan stated slowly.
Garret did what he said, feathers flapping in the wind. "Now what," Garret asked.
"I dunno," said Duncan meekly.
"You what?!" Garret screamed. That's when Garret landed on a taxi.
"Psst. Garret?! You there? Ah, geez," Garret tore off his headset and picked up the phone, "Betty! He's friggin' dead, call the next guy on the list! Offer him double what we offered that Garrett kid. Yeah, we can afford it. He'll probably end up spilt on the sidewalk anyway. Just do it, woman!" He slammed the phone down and massaged his brow. "Now I have to find another intern and more eagle semen." He took a swig of whiskey and crinkled up his notes, "Just another day at the office," and tossed them into the trash bin, b-ball style.