Her Choice

Chapter 24

MANIK

I had my hands tucked under my head as I and Nandini lied on the soft green grass beside the lake. The time we got out, we were drenched like wet cats and of course we couldn't attend classes like it. Having no other option, we decided to bunk our classes. I would be grateful if I am not thrown out of college. I have by now probably set the record for the most number of bunks.
Hell, I really need to rectify it.

I shifted my gaze from the stretching blue sky to the girl beside me. Nandini was lying on her back, her eyes closed. Her pink pouty lips parted slightly by her soft breathe. Her face glistened as the sun rays kissed her pale face.

Suddenly her eyes fluttered open catching me staring at her.

"What?"

"What?", I questioned back.

Her brows knitted together making her frown at me. Rolling her eyes at me, she focused back at the sky above.

The soothing calmness wrapped us in and the comfortable silence stretched back in.

"Why are you doing this, Manik?", Nandini's soft voice reach my ears.

"Do what?"

"Care for me so much. Wanting me to be happy, and smiling, and everything...."

I turn towards her. My eyes land on her brown eyes. The intensity, the curiosity, the raw need to know, reflected from them. I may have said the rotten answer because I am your friend all the crap

But I couldn't. I didn't want to lie any longer. It had been long since I should have told her. And probably this was the time.

I tore my eyes from her. Getting up from the grassy ground, I sat beside the woody trunk.
Nandini followed my cue and settled beside me.

"You mean a lot to me, Nandini.", I whisper not meeting her gaze.

"You have always meant a lot, like a hell lot to me. Ever since the stupid day, I laid my eyes fall upon you, I got blown. I just couldn't get you out of my head. When I learnt you were into a relation with Rahul, I tried to back off. Get over the weird feeling I had for you. Believe me I did. But I failed. Miserably. The more I tried to separate the more I was shoved into the pit. Each time I saw you with him, it hurt. It hurt badly. It bruised my heart. And when you shared that things hadn't gone well with him, I said I was sorry. But I wasn't. In fact I was happy. I know its selfish of me to think like it, but I was helpless and I still am. Because I have fallen madly in love with you, Nandini."

Our eyes stayed locked with each other. Time flew by, but we couldn't budge. After what seemed like hours, she asked,

"How long have you felt this way?"

"I don't know. Probably the day I had the second fight with Rahul."

She dropped her eyes. And my heart clenched.

"Why didn't you say this before?" The hint of hurt in her voice.

"I just couldn't."

She chuckled in a weird way. The tension grew between us and buried us.

"So all this was a lie, huh. Your friendly behavior and all the 'we are the bestest friends', was your way to get to me?", her eyes flickered towards me.

"No no, you're getting it all wrong, you are my most treasured friend. And everything I did it was because I really cared for you."

She sighed and then stood up from her place. The sun had dried our soaked clothes by then.
She bent down to get her bag. Slinging it by her back, she slipped in her flats.

"Are you leaving?", I asked even though I could see her do so.

"Yes"

I held her wrist just before she could move away. She turned to face me and eyed my hands warily.

"Why?", our conversation turned into monosyllables.

"Because I want to."

"Just give us a shot, a chance.", I drowned my self into her eyes. There was a long pause as she searched for something in my gaze.

"I can't, Manik you know I cannot do it.", her voice was losing her rigidity.

"Why can't you?"

"I don't want to go through a heart break again. I am not sure I will survive it.", her eyes brimmed with tears as she uttered the last words.

My instinct kicked in and I pulled her to my chest.

"I won't ever hurt you. I promise".

"Everyone says that, Manik", she mumbled to my chest.

She pulled away rubbing off the few tears that had escaped.

"I am heading back.", she whispered.

"Is this a way for you to say no?", I questioned.

I waited for her to answer. The conflict ravaging inside her clear to me. She finally nodded her head in a yes.

"I can't do it.", she replied.

Turning her back to me, she walked away from the lake side and headed to wards the dorms.

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