A MOTHER'S JOURNEY

A TATTOO SERIOUSLY?

So yeah. After dropping off my design on Monday, rescheduling two appointments because of 'life' getting in the way, Dylan (with fully charged phone) and I walked through the doors of Oakleigh Ink http://www.oakleighinktattoo.com.au/ at 5.00pm yesterday - not that any of you are ever to be down this way let alone do what I did, but that's the place.

Two and a half hours later, spent largely on my stomach and dribbling into the 'headrest' thingy because of the way I was positioned, I stood up (well it was more a process of slowly moving each body part and then telling my brain they all worked) I had my very first (and last) tattoo!

Troy was great. Dylan had doubts about him all week; he also had doubts about me going through with it, about the design itself and about his mother getting a tattoo in the first place... Despite this, I don't think there's anyone who doesn't know about it now - and he has quite a few friends spread around the world. I think I was a big part of the chatter during their games of COD?

"So. Where do you want it?" Troy asked me.

We'd been debating this in the car and Dylan was of two minds: Why get a tat if no one can see it, and since I had no penis - he'd made me see some photos I will never 'un-see' a couple of nights ago when I was cooking their dinner and I stupidly asked him to Google the best place to get one - he said any other place not classified as a 'slut-tat' area?

"What the hell is a slut-tat?"

"You know - when girls in jeans squat and you see a butterfly or something on their lower back?"   

"Right."

Earlier in the day, we were buying some chicken breast for his dinner and he had brought up the tattoo situation again. "You could always put it like over your heart? On your chest?"

"Ummm... Guys have chests?"

"Oh yeah. Hey mum, how do you say chicken breast in grandma's language?"

I translated the word 'breast'.

"What about the chicken word though?"

"Don't need it."

"But then how do people know you are asking for chicken breast? What if you want other meat... like from a cow?"

Oh boy. "That would be an udder Dylan. You don't eat udders?"

Yeah. We were in the supermarket again, and he was wearing his latest purchase, one of those woolly caps with ear muffs and pompoms at the ends? He'd found one without an animal face on it earlier. He'd also purchased three pairs of identical black jeans with the entire knee area exposed in what was considered 'fashionable' tears.

"Don't wear these every day," I'd cautioned him." People will think you're wearing your only pair of jeans. And why three?"

"Look at the size of these holes mum," he'd replied, emerging from the change room and doing the 'slav squat'. "They're gonna rip right through at some point and become shorts see? So I'm thinking ahead."

Okay.

Back to Troy. I said, "What about on my shoulder?" I saw him frown a little. And hesitate?

"Yeah, let's go for left shoulder." My mind was made up, frown or not.

Dylan had pulled up a very comfy leather chair in the meantime. He'd Googled something along the lines of 'Tattoo pain map'. Troy applied this 'numbing cream', to the area and then set about preparing the stencil and the inks. Dylan put the phone right to my nose.

"Back it up - can't see that close without my glasses!"

"Look at the bright red areas."

The shoulder area was bright red. The only area not varying in any shade of red was the buttocks.