Hetalia x Reader (shorts, bonuses, scenarios and previews)

The One with the Ex-Boyfriend (Awesome Trio)

For the boy who tried to coerce me into French kissing him in front of one of his friends; FUCK YOU, ---!

***

I slammed the door to Alfred's condo open, causing him to spit out his bowl of cereal at Mathias who was playing Clash of Clans.

   Mathias muttered something in Danish, dropping his iPhone.

   "What the Hell, dudette?" Alfred coughed before taking a sip of water.

   "He's back. I don't believe it, but he is back! Ugh!" I dashed past them and into the bathroom.

   Gilbert let out a high-pitched scream when I opened the door. He was on the toilet.

   Not one bit bothered, I merely sighed in exasperation and swung the door close again, "Hurry up, Gilbert!"

   "Who's back exactly?" Alfred asked, walking towards me.

   Mathias threw the hand towel on a nearby dresser, "Yeah, I'd like to know who's responsible for getting me soaked in milk-spit"

   I blew a lock of hair off my lip, "You know that guy I dated when I first moved here in New York?"

   "The shortie? Yeah" Alfred nodded. 

   "Well, he's back" My doorknob turned and soon Gilbert got out. I walked past him and went for the faucet to wash my hands. God, I can't believe I let him touch me again!

   "Who's back?" Gilbert asked.

   "You know that guy she used to date but left her for this girl in Brazil?" Mathias said but Alfred cut him off.

   "No, not that. Y'know the pasty dude who tried to... you know"

   "Oh, yeah. Shortie; the guy who broke up with you after just two days when you wouldn't--" Gilbert squeaked when I appeared right in front of him with a finger up his face.

   "He didn't break up with me. I broke up with him" I glared.

   "That's not how I remember it" Mathias dug his hands in the front pocket of his jeans.

One Year Before

   "I'm so sorry" He hung his head, but I knew that he didn't mean a thing.

   "You're breaking up with me?" It was more of a question for myself than the man sitting from across me, "But I don't get it. It's only been two days. Was it something I did?"

   "It's not you. It's me" He put a hand over his chest.

   I glanced up at him, "Y-you're breaking up with me using the 'it's not you, it's me' routine?"

   He shrugged.

   "I invented 'it's not you, it's me'. Nobody gets to tell me it's them not me, because if it's anybody--it's me" I pointed to myself.

   He held up his hands, "All right already. It's you"

   Slinging my arm over the back of the booth, I nodded, "Damn right, it's me!"

   "Look, I was just trying to--" I waved him off.

   "I know what you were trying to do" I scoffed, "No one does it better than me"

Present