*** Five Years Later ***
"Tara," I moaned as ecstasy coursed through my body. I had my eyes closed and all I could feel was the tongue working it's magic on my body, south of my belly button. But as soon as Tara's name was out of my mouth the tongue disappeared and I realised that I'd fucked up. "Fuck," I whispered under my breath as I opened my eyes and looked down at the woman between my legs.
"Who's Tara?" Tayla Carter asked. Tayla and I went to school together for a year, our last year of school. I'd had feelings for her back then, but nothing had ever happened.
"No one, I'm sorry, just forget I said anything," I tried to convince her.
"You can't seem to forget her, so why should I?" Tayla asked.
"She's no one," I repeated.
"She's obviously not no one if you can't get her out of your head when I'm eating your pussy," Tayla refused to back down or drop the subject. I looked passed her, staring at the wall, staring into space, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill as memories of Tara flooded my brain.
"She's the love of my life, she's my soul mate," I confessed. "She's my everything, my wife, she gave me a son, we made a home together, we travelled the world together," the flood gates had opened and I struggled to stop the words. And I had no hope of stopping the tears, although they remained silent for the time being.
"Then what are you doing here, with me, Simmy?" Tayla asked what I suppose any sane person would. But I'd long since lost my sanity, being so long with out even laying eyes on Tara or our son.
"She kicked me out, told me to go and never come back," I informed her. Although the tears were flowing, things felt very surreal to me, like none of it was really happening.
"Why would she do that? You didn't cheat on her or something, did you?" Tayla asked, voicing her confusion.
"No, I saved her," I corrected the image in Tayla's head.
"I don't understand," Amy said.
"I saved her and in doing so caused our daughter to die, our little Helena. Tara was eighteen weeks pregnant when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, the doctors told us that if she carried full term there was a ninety per cent chance that Tara wouldn't make it and a forty eight per cent chance that Helena would be still born anyway. She needed to have an operation to removed the cancer, one that would kill the baby, but there was a ninety eight per cent chance that the cancer would stay gone if they removed it. The only thing was that they had to removed Tara's womb as well," I sobbed the further I got into my explanation. "I convinced her to have the operation," I whispered that last part, unsure if Tayla even heard me.
"Holly shit," Tayla gasped. "But why did she kick you out for?"
"She said that she couldn't forgive me for not even fighting to save our daughter. But I couldn't have done it without her, I couldn't have buried my wife and raised our kids," I explained.
"Did you fight to stay with her?" Tayla asked.
"What's the point? I can't make her understand and I can't stand to see the hate in her eyes every time she looks at me," I replied.
"What about your son?" Tayla asked.
"Ethan, my little captain, it was his third birthday last week, and I missed it, I'll never get that time back," I sobbed. "I miss him so much, and I miss Tara," I concluded.
*** Earlier That Evening ***
I'd been working the CSI in Melbourne, but after what happen with Tara they gave me extended leave without pay. They said that I could take as long as I needed, all I needed to do was give them one week notice when I was coming back. So after Tara had kicked me out I travelled around aimlessly for a while, finally ending up in Auckland. I'd been making a bit of money on the side by playing random gigs.
