Phan Oneshots

Closer

this one's pretty angsty near the end.
based on a true story. (the morning bit.)

if you see any dumb mistakes please point them out to me!

x

Mondays.

Aren't they the worst?

Dan didn't have a great start to the week.

First and foremost, somebody (his friend Chris) nicked his pencil case and stole his compass and protractor. By nicked, Dan means he 'borrowed' them and then texted him the following,

'Sucker! Now I have your maths stuff! Hahahahahahah'

To make the situation worse, it was the day before the maths test, last lesson when he got that text, so he couldn't just find Chris and slap him.

This left Dan with two choices. He could either beg his mum for money, which almost never worked, or he could suffer through a lecture and a detention from his maths teacher, while praying she wouldn't send a note home.

Dan thought that asking his mother was a good place to start.

After the many minutes of grovelling, sniffling, and being called a crybaby by his brother, he got his money.

Obviously, Dan must have put 'reading a makoharu Fanfiction' higher up on his (rather small) list of priorities than 'asking my inpossible to convince mum for money', as the money was given to him at ten past eight on the morning of the fateful maths test.

Dan jumped around in glee, but the grin was more-or-less wiped off (scratch that, how about slapped with a mackerel?) his face when he checked the time on his phone.

Dan usually left the house at ten past eight. The time being ten past eight caused Dan a sudden onset of oh crap, let's just say,  as he was standing with a fiver in his hand and his school uniform in the other.

Fifteen minutes later Dan sprinted out the door with a piece of toast in his mouth and an undone tie hanging around his neck. He would have laughed at how much he resembled an anime character - if his life wasn't in peril.

He arrived at school (three minutes before the bell, luckily) only to breathlessly look in horror at the MASSIVE queue by the school stationery shop.
Of course, most of the responsible students had bought their test equipment a few days prior to avoid the 'test day stampede', but Dan hadn't.

Swimming through a line that was so long it rivalled the queue when the new shortbread is brought out, really was not on his bucket list for that day.

Dan just missed the school bully though, which was equivalent to a gift from the heavens. That guy looked like a rhino. A scary rhino with a small beard.

Another stroke of luck was when he managed to grab one of the the last packs just as the bell rang. Dan proceeded to leg it to class faster than he ever did in PE (well, if he did PE).

An hour passed and Dan emerged from the maths classroom of death - only to deduce from his friends' chattering about the answers just how badly he actually did. He felt nauseous thinking of his results.

Actually, I think the teacher felt more nauseous than him looking at his test.

Oh well. He'd cross that bridge when he came to it. Procrastination sometimes helped.

The rest of the day went just as bad, because it was a Monday. Dan was close to murdering anybody who called on him during his last lesson, Biology.

The only thing keeping him from becoming a crazed, hungry serial killer on the spot was the thought of his internet best friend, AmazingPhil. They met through a mutual friend and the two had no idea what the other looked like, or what they sounded like, but they were fine with that.

Phil was a popular name, anyway. It wasn't like he lived across the road from him.

x

Phil had a pretty good Monday. He woke up about half an hour early, and studied-

Nope.

Phil woke up half an hour early, yes, but he fell asleep in his cornflakes and when he was jolted awake by his mother she ordered him to take another shower. Honesty, he would have been better off getting an extra half hour of kip.

He had all of his school stuff and revision notes for his maths test set out the night before, so it was a peaceful morning in the Lester household.

Phil left the house and caught the bus. He could walk to school, but it was easier to ride the bus, as he could wake up later.

He sat alone, partly because he liked his own company, and partly because nobody he knew caught the same public bus as him. The driver, Jan, happily waved to the boy anyway.

Jan was nice.

On the way, Phil saw an easily recognisable brunette run along the pavement with unbrushed hair, an undone tie, and toast in his mouth. It was a boy he knew was called Dan, but he didn't know that much else about him. The only thing he knew was that Dan lived across the street from him.

Must have woken up late, Phil thought.

When he finally arrived at hell- school, Phil meant school, there was a queue for the stationary shop, bigger than the line after they bring a new tray of the shortbread out at lunch.

It was like the Hunger Games, without the killing, and more literal - all hungry when shortbread comes out.

He saw Dan push to the front of the line, half eaten toast in his right hand, while he fished out the required money with his left.

Phil telepathically wished him luck before heading to his class. He had an English assessment that day, and he was so scared.

The last thought on his nervous mind before he entered the classroom of death  was how his internet best friend danisnotonfire also had a maths test the same day as the boy with the toast.

It was a shame they didn't live closer. Of course, they could be across the street from each other and have no idea, but Phil remembered Dan saying something about coming from 'somewhere posh'.

Where Phil lived was called lots of things, but never posh. So he couldn't live near him...

Funnily enough, the thought of his best friend got him through the assessment.

If only they lived closer.

x

it's been a crap week without Internet and i needed to release some stress, okay?

song of the chapter! it relates to the title of this, for once, so have a listen!