Phan Oneshots

The Mouse Incident

fun fact: i based the mouse off of an anime character (because that isn't lame). any guesses?

if you see any dumb mistakes please point them out to me!
x

Dan lies under the covers of his dark, checkerboard patterned bed. The time reads 11pm exactly, and he casually scrolls through his tumblr dashboard. He's so comfortable and relaxed reading some fanfiction the brunet wouldn't object to staying there forever.

In their kitchen, Phil makes himself some tea while Dan impatiently waits for him to get his butt into bed so they can sleep.

But Dan and Phil never have an uneventful, normal day, and this evening is no exception to the rule.

Dan sighs. He hears a scuffle along the carpet and glances up, but he doesn't hear anything else, so he goes back to tumblr.

Suddenly, an almost inaudible SQUEAK loudly interrupts the silence of Dan and Phil's bedroom.

Hearing this, the brunet looks up from his computer currently displaying some fanart. He thinks maybe Phil has quietly entered the room and stepped on some squeaky toy (hey, Phil buys strange things sometimes) and almost misses the mouse.

MOUSE?

Dan shrieks and jumps about fifty feet into the air when a mouse with chestnut fur peeps over the top of his laptop screen.
It's teal eyes stare at the half eaten, tasty biscuit resting on Dan's chest. Upon noticing this the brunet stuffs the remainder of it in his mouth, making a face at the mouse even though he has a mouth full of biscuit.

Dan isn't certain whether he spots the mouse furrow his eyebrows in indignation or whether he's just insane, and decides not to ponder on the issue.

Anyway, he has bigger problems (but smaller things) to worry about.

There's a second where the animal and the boy glare each other down, but Dan comes to his senses, finally, and screams yet again - only this time loud enough to put most horror movie protagonists to shame.

Flinging himself off the bed and onto his butt chair he muses absentmindedly that maybe Dil's knack of getting into possibly life threatening situations is more him than Phil.

"PHIL! PHIL GET A BROOM! DO WE EVEN OWN A BROOM? OH JESUS, OH MY FU- HELP ME!"

The mouse scuttles away at Dan's loud yelling, hiding under a black wardrobe.
With huge aurora eyes and dilated pupils the furry ball lets out another SQUEAK! of fear.

Phil rushes to Dan's room letting out a battle cry, kicking the door in an attempt to break it down.
Obviously, it stays shut - partly because of the fact he's only wearing socks on his feet (hey, floor tiles get cold in the uk) and partly because Phil isn't that strong - but a quiet "Ouch..." can be heard from where Dan cowers on the chair.

Slightly defeated Phil opens the door the more convenient way, trudging in soon after rubbing his sore toe and setting the broom on the floor. After clarifying that no, Dan's not be murdered, he sighs.

"What is it?" he groans, scrubbing a hand over his face and suppressing a yawn. "I had to give up my tea for thi-"

"Phil, there's a mouse! Get rid of it!"
Dan interrupts his boyfriend in a hushed whisper, trying not to alarm the petite creature under the wardrobe further. He points accusingly at the miniature, terrified thing to make it completely clear what and where it is.

The raven's eyes widen, not in shock or fear but curiosity. Phil's love for hamsters prevent him from being scared of the fluffy mouse.
Following Dan's gaze (which is still fixated on the animal under the wardrobe) he rubs his hands together and squeals in excitement.

The only way to resolve this, Phil thinks, is to catch it in a plastic box, teach it tricks, and start a mouse circus.

The raven turns and leaves the room, making a beeline for the kitchen, skipping in glee along the way.

Dan however does not feel such giddiness.
"Don't leave me!" he cries, stretching an arm out to the quickly retreating figure - but lowering it in defeat upon realising Phil has no intention of returning any time soon.

Phil doesn't listen, and if he had looked back at the brunet he would have seen a pleading expression in Dan's eyes.

The taller of the pair focuses his attention back on the mouse. He leans forward and shifts his arm to point at the creature once again, staring into its fierce looking eyes- wait fierce looking eyes? Yup, he must be going insane. However, it's eyes are not on Dan.

The mouse is literally drooling at the sight of the two other biscuits on Dan's bedside table. In his panic the boy on the butt chair forgot the other snacks and now the mouse is clearly intent on getting those damn biscuits.

They aren't big biscuits, just small cookies that they bought from their local bakery, so Dan has no doubt whatsoever that the large-ish mouse can scarf them down without much difficulty.

The mouse lets out one more defiant SQUEAK! of bravery before scampering at top speed towards the food.

Dan's petrified, frozen and scared silly. This mouse is scarily intelligent. The brunet's breath hitches as sudden theory appears in his mind.

What if the mouse is a descendent of Suki and is here for revenge on its relative?

Is there an army of hamsters/mice coming for him?

Is this their revenge after that fanfiction somebody wrote on hamsters? And kittens? And cherries and EVERYTHING?

Dan takes a step back, forgetting he's on an unstable-to-stand-on butt chair, and tumbles backwards the exact nanosecond Phil breezes back into the room proudly displaying a plastic box.

His pride soon turns to horror when he sees his boyfriend's rapid descent towards his piano.

Dan spins around (think a ballerina, but not so graceful) in midair, trying desperately to see where he's going to land.

It's like everything begins to move in slow motion. The brown mouse with turquoise eyes is long forgotten as Phil's box falls dramatically out of his hands, and Dan prepares himself for the last thing he ever hears to be out of tune piano keys.

Maybe the mouse is secretly a genie in disguise.
Maybe it's pure luck.
Either way, the force of Dan's slow-mo turn flips him unharmed onto the carpet - instead of the potentially deadly piano.

Phil rushes over to his boyfriend and crushes him in a bear hug, never wanting to let go of Dan, wanting to keep his chocolate eyed sweetheart in his arms and protect him there forever.

It's a bear hug, for his bear.

He knows it would have been cooler to have a roly-poly mouse circus, but he would rather have his boyfriend.

x

10:30am, Sunday.

"THAT SQUEAKING SON OF A GUN ATE MY FLIPPING COOKIES!"

x

howdy, y'all!
okay, I'm not American, so imagine I said that in some horrible attempt at a US accent. i do say 'y'all' though.

P.S: song of the chapter is I Walk the Line by Halsey. she's one of my favourite artists!