Deception (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 37

*Drew’s POV*

As I watched my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, walk away from me, I felt like I was dying every time she took a step away from me. I desperately wanted to go after her, hug her and never let go. God, now I know what it feels like to say that I can’t live without her, I’ve laughed so many times before every time someone uses this line and I now know that they never meant it physically because without Aubrey I won’t really live, I would just survive every day but there’s no living to it, because it means nothing without her.  

How do I convince myself, tell myself that it’s over, that I should let go, let go of my love because right now, I honestly don’t know what I should do to be successful in that matter.

“The only thing I know for sure is that I love you more than my own life, even though I don't show it. In the little time we have been together, you were my soul, my light and my journey, without you, this life makes no sense.You will always have my heart and soul and I can only hope that one day I will get it back from you” I knew she couldn’t hear me, but I wanted to say it out loud for the first and last time for I know myself more than anyone, and I know for sure, that right now is probably the last time I’ll say anything like it. As I finished my parting words, pleading parting words, I closed the door behind me and pressed my back to the wall across from the door, sliding down. I pulled my knees to my chest and huddled as if the action itself would give little comfort to my aching heart.

Why does this scene, me huddled in a corner, helpless, seem to be so familiar?

After an hour or so, I didn't really pay attention to the time so I don't know for sure, I knew I had to move. I got up and walked towards the kitchen with heavy feet. I couldn't feel anything physically but the weight of my movement. Grabbing a liquor bottle I uncapped it and dragged its content feeling the burning sensation in my throat. Now What? I asked myself stupidly.

Looking around the empty house I laughed humorlessly. I guess you're as empty as I’m feeling right now I thought as if the house would hear me. I stared down to my hand feeling it getting wet, knitting my eyebrows in confusion I placed a hand on my cheek surprising myself to find it wet with tears.

Stupid shit! I cussed trying to wipe it away using the back of my hand but the stupid salty water is relentless, they just kept coming out of my eyes. Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Stop it please, goddamn please, stop. I begged to no one burying the balls of my hand against my eyes for another fail attempt to stop the tears.

Pathetic!

FUCKING PATHETIC!

Sobs racked my body involuntarily.

Why does it fucking hurt? I asked myself resigning and acknowledging that I am in fact feeling an excruciating pain. I gripped the bottle tighter and took another long drag wanting to drown my sorrows.

---

I opened my eyes later that day hearing soft sniffles; I furrowed my brows in confusion as I stared against the ceiling. Why am I lying on the floor?

When the blurriness left me I finally noticed the person with me “Emma?” I asked in shock and disbelief

“Hey” she replied in a hoarse voice, her eyes were red and puffy giving me the hint that she’d been crying for quite some time. I was about to ask her what she was doing here but that was the least of my worries, Emma, my older sister is kneeling just beside me crying. Cracking a pathetically forced smile I said “I’ve always told you that you’re only allowed to cry either when you’re inside the bathroom or against my shoulder” she didn’t answer but cry harder. The only choice I had is to put aside my confusion and at least try to get a proper answer, I lifted my right hand then using my index finger, I drew a smile on her lips but when I did that I noticed the dried blood on my knuckles.