Georgia Rose (One Direction)

Chapter 21

"Are you sure? I can wait for whatever it is you want to tell me, I don't want to see you this distressed." He said, his voice filled with concern.

"Yes I'm sure. A ton of explaining needs to be done on my part. I-I need you to know everything about me, I need to get it out in the open," I said.

I also have a question for him, a question that would determine and clear up everything that is going on.

I need to know if he feels the same way about me as I feel about him.

I'm dying inside because I want to know so badly, I want to see if this'll go anywhere.

"Alright, I don't know where this is going to lead to but I'll let you talk," he said. I could see in his eyes he wanted me to explain it all.

"Okay," I breathed. The heavy tears have stopped but small ones still continue to fall freely.

"Well..." I started. He rubbed his hand on my back to encourage me to keep speaking.

"I don't know how to start this..."

"Just say what your heart tells you," he said.

"Okay...........I...uh I have a past. A bad, bad past." I said as I tried not to remember it all. Harry's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"It all started when my mum died of cancer..." I said and his eyes filled with sympathy.

"...everything changed once she got diagnosed. I felt so lonely, I didn't have a single friend because I pushed them all away. Then, I started hanging out with a group of people deeply involved in drugs. I'd rebel against my father and I'd get drunk and high every single weekend."

"Sometimes I wouldn't even visit my mother in the hospital because I was so selfish in drowning myself with these things that I thought would help me..." A large tear fell down my face following with a few others. I looked up at Harry and he took my hand in his, squeezing it.

"I hold this huge guilt upon my shoulders, it's been with me for the past 4 years.
I was the reason for my mums death. I should've just changed out of that stupid god damn outfit and she could've still been here today!" I squeezed my eyes shut and the tears fell. Luckily, Harry didn't ask me to explain it all.

"Once I got that phone call telling me that-" my voice cracked. "that she was gone...my whole life turned upside down." I squeezed Harry's hand so hard.

"I-I turned to stripping and the hardcore drugs as a way out. I thought it was helping, but it wasn't helping at all."

"I'd sleep around with any young enough guy that came into the joint and-and I'm not proud of it okay?"

"That's what my father meant by my "old ways" But that's not me anymore, you have to understand that!" I screamed at Harry and he quickly hugged me tightly. I cried into his shoulder, wetting his shirt.

"It's okay, keep going. I'm not judging you." He whispered.

"Okay, well I... I fell into a deep depression. Deeper than I had ever read about or witnessed before. I didn't expect it to be that..that tough. I felt like no matter how hard I tried to stand up, something would push me back down....I couldn't take it any longer.." I whispered.

"I tried to commit suicide," I looked at Harry with ashamed, regretful eyes.

"But someone helped me, she saved my life and I will always be grateful no matter what. She is my Guardian Angel. "

"I had to take counseling for months on end to get me out of my suicidal thoughts and it did help, I wasn't suicidal anymore."

"That didn't mean I didn't hate myself any less though. I hated the way I looked, I hated my life, I hated everyone and my wrists show that. They are the evidence of my horrible past and I am stuck with them for the rest of my life, they are a reminder. They remind me every single day of what I went through." I gulped as I pulled up my long sleeved shirt, showing Harry my numerous scars.

Harry immediately grabbed my arm and looked at them closely. He rolled up my other sleeve and saw the other scars, he ran his thumb over one gently. He then brought both arms up to his face and started to kiss every single one. I gave him a weak smile before standing up.

He gave me a look as to ask if he did something wrong but I ignored it, I lifted up my shirt slightly. I showed him the larger scars that I had upon my stomach and his eyes welled up with tears.

"Georgia," he whispered as a tear dropped.

I pulled my shirt down and sat on the bed, still crying.

"I am so sorry," he now full on sobbed and I got irritated.

"I don't need your pity," I said harshly.

"No, I'm sorry for freaking out on you, I-I didn't know. I can't imagine the rough times you've been through and I-I can't believe I never even clued in. I'm sorry, I should have protected you more from the bitter words being thrown at you." He cried.

"No Harry, it's okay...really. I don't blame you, it's just been hard lately. I-I'm not the most confident girl and sometimes it's just a lot to take in. I have these nightmares that make me terrified to go to sleep, these scars, the guilt on my shoulders and I am forced to think about how my father has just so easily found someone else. Someone who is not my mother." This is just tumbling out now, I feel like I can really trust Harry.

I mean, this is the most I've ever told anybody about my past. Hannah only knows snippets, Harry knows the whole story behind me.

Without a word, Harry pulls me into him as be both cry.

"Please, don't tell anyone," I whispered into his chest.

"You're secrets safe with me," his voice cracked.

We laid in the bed tangled with each other for about an hour as our tears died down and our erratic breathing was now calm. I remembered what else I needed to tell Harry.

"Harry," I shook him trying to wake him up. He wouldn't budge.

I sighed. "I think I love you."

IM LIKE CRYIN THE END GETS ME EVERYTIME

AND IMFFF SHE TOLD HIM ABOUT HER PAST