Georgia Rose (One Direction)

Chapter 44

Come back down -Danny Fernandez

Hurt -Christina Aguilera

You found me -The Fray

Louis' POV

My hands quiver and my heart beats against my ribcage as the salty tears pour down my face. Reality hits me so hard that I'm ready to get out of the car and fall down onto my knees, letting myself scream out. I wanted Georgia to feel bad, not do this. Nothing makes sense anymore, the guilt is eating me alive. It's so difficult to put the pieces together because part of me wants to keep accusing her of using Harry, but there isn't an explanation as to why she would lie in her suicide note. The words she said hit my heart so hard that I feel like I can't even breathe. The emotion I can tell she poured into every single word catches my breath at the back of my throat like a net.

Not once did I think Georgia was this hurt, this unhealthy, so many things are left unexplained but at the same time I feel like I know what she's been through. Georgia seemed so confident with herself, but the pieces quickly come together. This girl really does love Harry, I can't find a single ounce of proof to contradict it. Nobody would lie in a suicide note, there's no point in lying if they are about to spare their life.

There's tears pouring out of my eyes harder than ever before, dangerously blocking my vision as I drive. The thought of Harry nor I arriving there in time cracks my heart open like an egg. Georgia can't do this, she needs to see that Harry has been a walking skeleton since she's been gone. He cares about her so much, he just thinks he isn't good enough for her. He has fallen so hard but what I never realized was she has fallen too, I can't believe I never saw this. My overprotective mode was turned on full while I was around Georgia, making me blind to the emotion behind her eyes as every hurtful word escaped my mouth. This is all my fault, I am the cause of every single problem here.

She is in her room, feeling so hurt and lonely, like nobody ever cared to love her. She thinks that suicide is the best way out, but it isn't. She's such a beautiful girl and has so much to live for, so much potential. Im almost afraid to see what she looks like after all these weeks without her around, I'm praying she didn't go too hard on herself. I will never be able to look at anyone the same way if Georgia is gone forever, it'll hurt too much knowing the guilt is easily shining through me.

Georgia's POV

The familiar black fabric of Harry's I wear is stretched at the neck, revealing my horrifically defined collar bones.

Am I pretty yet?

No Im not.

I look behind me at the setting I've prepared for myself, the fate I've caused to take forward. In only a few minutes ill finally be able to escape from this world that continues to tear me down after each mistake. I will float up and out of my infested, hanging body and I will finally be able to bring myself to be happy. The only thing that frightens me is the distance I am putting between Harry and I. I hate to leave him, but I have to. I can't do this any longer, there's no possible way I can handle the consequences for one more wrong that I have accomplished.

My self esteem has dropped down past zero and is now in the negatives, I'm even too afraid to open my bedroom door because I don't want to have to face anybody. Im so insecure that I don't want to be looked at, I just want to hide from their eyes that kill me. It may be unintentional but I can't put my guards down because look where that has gotten me, I've lost the control Im desperately trying to gain back.

I look at the rope hanging from the ceiling and I quiver in the shirt that falls down my shoulders, leaving me bare. The thoughts are so cruel but they are like the nicotine that I've easily become addicted to and desperately crave. My body relaxes as I remember the whole reason I'm doing this, to put myself out of my misery. It'll be like a vacation I wasn't once allowed to take, the people up I meet as I arrive to my final destination will be like the family I never had.