Georgia Rose (One Direction)

Chapter 40

I JUST REALIZED AS I READ OVER THE LAST CHAPTER THAT A WHOLE PART WAS CUT OUT OF IT WHAT

I HAD A WHOLE ENDING OF LIAMS POV BUT IT CUT IT OFF I WAS WONDERING WHY PEOPLE WERE SAYING IT WAS TOO SHORT AND NOW I KNOW WHY IM SO SORRY SHIT

ill just add it to this chapter though so it'll be extra long I wonder where it went tho im fuming

(Still chapter 39)

I struggle to get my unused arms from the large white shirt, getting frustrated easily. I sit up on my skinny legs as I thrash the shirt that I can't seem to get off of me. My bony knees collide with the hardwood floor the shirt becoming a tangled mess upon my body.
My sore arms fight the fabric, finally get unattached from the sleeve of the cotton shirt, I pull it up and over my head. Throwing it, I try to get it as far away from me as possible. Unforntuately, because of the weakness of my throw and the air that traveled through it, it didn't get across a quarter of the room.

I then go to the waistband of the plaid pajama pants worn on my legs. I nip at the fleece fabric as I weakly pull them down, kicking my limbs frantically to get them off completely. My hands reach for the black shirt of Harry's that I've been longing to feel against my skin.

As my fingers fumble with the two hems of the dark shirt, I finally manage to separate them and quickly throw the shirt onto my body. My arms come through the sleeves and the fabric rubs against my torso, sending me comfort.

The shirt is wet and cold from sitting in a pile on the floor all night but I couldn't be more pleased. I shiver from the cold cotton that rubs against me but the one sliver of warmth that I get just from wearing Harry's shirt is enough for my whole body. It's amazing really, how he can affect me this way.

Im so pathetic. Harry's probably with his girlfriend at this very moment, while I'm here. He's probably going up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, setting his head on her shoulder. He's probably holding her hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the sensitive skin as a gesture of love and gratitude. He is probably showing her off to the whole world who desperately want to be her and have forgotten all about me, the freak that Harry Styles once dated.

I bash my fists onto the ground, punching the hard surface and hurting my knuckles in the process. I don't want him to be with anybody else, it hurts to know I can be replaced.

I loved Harry so much and I still do, more than anything. I have turned into someone completely different than to who I should be. I hold all these negative thoughts that I don't know how to get out, resulting in self harm. I tell a different story from the rest of the world but I want to tell the same. I want to be able to go to school with a smile on my face, not having to worry about hiding these god damn marks that I have stupidly covered myself with.

My body is an overused cutting board that you find at a garage sale. The skin on my wrists is torn and tattered like an old shirt, all that's holding it together is the bone. My mind is filled with these monsters that run through my head day and night, not stopping to give me a break. They substitute every single positive thought I ever have and they infect it with their poison. My mind screams to just let me think good for once but these demons that live inside my soul just laugh at the failed attempt. Everytime I scream for these things to leave my head and plea for them to just let me be, they scream louder. They cloud my thoughts with these horrid things that I can't even begin to explain. There's no room to even think it through, all I can seem to do is take it out physically.

I am reminded every single moment of my life that I am ugly, that nobody cares to fix me. The giant reminder is that Harry never came back for me, he's lost in the sea of people I continue to hurt. I remind myself that I will never be that normal teenage girl with a normal, perfect life. Ill just always be that girl who doesn't have any self control, Im a bomb ready to explode.