Georgia Rose (One Direction)

Chapter 37

Love Remains The Same -Gavin Rossdale

Right Now -One Direction

Stupid England always has to rain.

I put my hood up and and ran as fast as my shaky legs could" take me away from that hell hole. However, I couldn't run for over 10 seconds because of exhaustion. I feel like when I'm away from food and my stomach is growling like it is now, I really want it, but when it's right up close to me and its in my hands I just simply cannot eat it.

I don't know what's wrong with me, why can't I eat? Why do I do this to myself but don't even try to help it?

I slow down greatly as I seem to have lost my breath and the heavy rain hits my face, I can feel the make up that I still haven't washed off from last night run down my face. I went to wipe the black mascara from under my eyes but flinched as my hand came in contact with my face. My cheek can't be that bad, can it?

I mean, Hannah isn't that strong. She's shorter than me and she doesn't work out or anything so why does it hurt so much? I wish I could look at it but looking at my reflection is the last thing I want to even think about doing.

I shiver as I zip up the rest of my sweater to keep the harsh, cold air out. I have no idea where I'm going to go but I know darkness is going to come sooner than I'll be expecting. I have to find shelter soon because I woke up in two in the afternoon and it has to be at least 3 now. I only have about 4 hours of daylight left before the wind turns even more bitter and I will surely freeze.

I aimlessly walk down the wet sidewalk, trying to dodge the endless puddles but fail terribly. My shoes are completely soaked along with my socks and I can feel my toes numbing. I bring my arms up and cross them close to my body as I try to preserve body heat while cursing at myself for being stupid enough to forget a raincoat.

It's only a short walk before I get into the main streets of London. I don't know why I came here, I have no money or proper clothes so I won't even be aloud in a cafe or restaurant. By now, even with my hood up, my hair is sticking wetly to my face and I am endlessly shivering because of the rain that has leaked through my clothes.

The rain is pouring down and I can barely see street sign 3 meters from my face. My mind is reeling with the possibilities that could happen to me. If hypothermia doesn't kill me first, some thug on the streets surely will. I don't mean to be stereotypical but I am just so alone and frightened and being myself, I always think of the worst case scenario.

I don't have a single idea on what to do, I have half a mind to go back home but my dignity fights me on that decision. Even through my clouded, unstable mind I still would never go back to my father after the things he's said.

He thinks its Harry who does this to me, but it's not. He is so quick to blame Harry but he has never listened to me since my mum died. Sure, I thought he was listening in the past but now as I look back on it I realize he never did. I would tell him about how I miss mum but he'd just nod his head and pretend he listened to what I just told him.

I thought our relationship was perfect but now as everything comes uncovered, the pieces come together. He never once cared about me, it was all just a layer of paint he used to cover up.

Now he has the nerve to blame Harry for everything even though it wasn't Harry at all. I should even thank Harry for showing me that I'm not okay, if he didn't do that I probably would've of lived my life thinking it was perfect. It's all just a lie though.

Im crying.

My life is such a black hole filled with depression that I will never escape from. I just can't get out of this endless tunnel that drowns me in these horrifying deep dark thoughts that no matter how hard I try, I can't run from. My body and mind is so exhausted with feeling this way but these monsters in my head keep pushing and dragging me deeper. They are pushing me past my limits and past my breaking point.