The Alpha's Mate

Chapter 23

Manon's POV

The all too familiar cold sweat laced my skin.  Adrenaline filled my veins, and made my heart thump in my chest.  My breathing quickened and panic filled me.  My eyes shot open, attempting to adjust to the dimly lit room.  

I couldn't see much, and my vision remained nearly black.  My eyes darted across the room, trying to see something.  This unfamiliarity made me panic, my breathing continuing to rise.  Something cold squeezed me, pulling me in.  I pushed back, trying to escape it.

It's grip tightened.  "Let me go." My voice came out quiet and rushed.  I squirmed.  "Manon calm down."  A familiar voice filled my ears.  His hand caressed my face, and my vision cleared, slowly revealing him.  

"Ronan."  I breathed a sigh of relief.  He presence didn't scare me anymore.  "Manon, are you okay?"  He was genuinely worried.  I nodded.  Moments of silence passed, and my nerves vanished.  

I was straddling him, our torsos touching.  He had his arms wrapped around me and his face buried in the crook of my neck. 

"Did you have a nightmare?" I asked.  He breathed in the crook of my neck. "Yeah."  His voice was rough from just waking up.  I wrapped my arms around him.  "Are you okay?"

He let out a breathy laugh as a reply.  I gently ran my fingers through his hair.  He cut it, as well as his beard, after I talked to him.  Soon I felt wet drops hitting my shoulder.

"Ronan." I whispered unsure of what to do.  His breathing was uneven.  "I'm sick of the fucking nightmares, Manon."  He buried his head further in my neck.  "Every time I close my eyes they're there."  His voice rose, but not out of anger.  "I want them out." More tears hit my skin.  He was a broken man.

"It's okay Ronan.  They're just nightmares."  He squeezed me, the cooling sensation seeped into my skin.  "They're not just nightmares."  I rubbed my thumb in a circle on his back.  

"Do you want to talk about it?"  He sat still for a moment, debating in his head.  "You don't want to listen."  His words weren't meant to hurt, but somehow they did.  "I do." I reply, somehow my pain evident in my voice.

He breathed deeply.  "They're always about you." This surprised me.  "It's the night I hurt you.  It's almost always the same.  I'm not in control, and I beat you.  I don't want to, but my limbs make me.  I hit you, kick you, call you things, and you never try to swing back."  His breathing is uneven.  "I want you to stop me, but you don-can't.  After I toss you around, I'm so angry I choke you, holding you in the air, squeezing you as hard as I possibly can."  More tears fall on my neck.  "You stare into my eyes, trying to speak, but can't.  Your eyes plead to let you go, but I don't.  Eventually your eyes gloss over and I drop you."  He wipes is face.

"I gain control of my body, and rush to your side, only to see that I killed you."  He pulls me into his chest.  "I try to fix you Manon, I call for help, but no one comes.  All I see is your dead eyes."  His hand goes up to the back of my head.  "And then I wake up only to realize that it wasn't a nightmare."  I breath deeply.  "But I'm here Ronan, I'm okay.  You didn't."  I found it hard to finish, but he understood.