Am I in Love

Am I In Love - Chapter 15

***Cassidy's P.O.V

I walk out of the cafeteria walking next to Derek. "Hey babe I have to stop at my locker and then stop by Derek's with him. Go on to class and I'll be right there okay?" I tell Jake. I can tell he's not too thrilled about it. I kiss him and head towards my locker. Derek is right behind me as I begin putting my gym clothes in my locker and pull out my math book. I sigh as I think about the kiss. I felt a spark. I couldn't help myself but want more of him. I know this is wrong. I can't just do this to Jake.. As much as it hurts me to do this I have to let Derek go. I've been in love with him for too long.. This kiss? It probably meant nothing to him. I close my locker and turn towards Derek who is staring at me. I feel my cheeks turn red and I start walking in the direction of his locker I feel him grab my hand pulling me back towards him. I bite my lip and he places a hand on my cheek. We're brought back to reality when the late bell rings. "Let's go to your locker so you can get what you need to and head to class." I say awkwardly. He nods and walks to his locker. When he's done getting what he needs we go to class. There's an awkward silence between us. When we get close to the door Derek pulls me into him. I stare into his eyes as he caresses my cheek. I blush and he smiles at me. My heart melts but I know I can't do this. I have no time to speak as Derek's lips meet mine one more time. I struggle to break the kiss. When I do I look at him. "Derek.." I begin to say as he runs his thumb across my bottom lip. I sigh, "What's wrong?" he asks me. I look down, "It's Jake.. We can't do this Derek.. What'll happen if he finds out? And you're gay! That makes this feel even worse. How can this even happen? " I say hoping no one can hear us. "Cass..." I cut him off before he can continue. "Derek please.. I hope this doesn't change anything between us.. It's just I can't do this.." I begin to walk into the room and Derek follows me. We show our passes and Mr. Goldston nods for us to sit down. I take a seat next to Jake, who seems to be giving Derek death glares. He places an arm around me and I look down. I take my pencil and start doodling. I'm so distracted I don't realize what I'm drawing. I take a look at my notebook and it's a rose. I close my notebook and put my head down. My mind is on one thing and one thing only.. Derek..

***Derek's P.O.V

My heart broke when Cassidy chose Jake. I walked into the class behind her with my head down trying to avoid the tears that burned in the back of my eyes. I don't understand why it gets to me so much. It's not like I've ever been attracted to Cassidy, or girls in general. But this.. this is different. I watch as she takes a seat near Jake. He glares at me as he puts an arm around Cassidy. I sit down in the back and watch as Cassidy start doodling. I know she's hurt about the decision she made. I can see it in the way she just sits there. I notice her putting her head down. I sigh and lay mine down too. I hate this weird feeling. It's nothing I'v ever felt before. I can't stand watching Cassidy be with Jake.

I'm so out of it I don't seem to hear the bell ring. I lift my head when I feel someone poking me. I look to see Alex. "Dude it's time to go home. Where were you?" He asks me and I look over to see Cassidy and Jake are gone. I get my things together and walk out of the room. I look to see everyone leaving walking towards the main doors. I sigh when I don't see Cassidy. I start walking down the hall when someone grabs me slamming me into the lockers. I look to see Jake. "What the hell man. The fucks your problem?" I look at him confused. "My problem? You know what my fucking problem is? You're my problem Derek." He says to me. "Excuse me?" I ask him still confused. "Right, play dumb. You don't think I know what you've been doing with my girlfriend? Going around turning her into a little whore? I didn't think you were both stupid enough to do that somewhere as public in school." He says to me and I know exactly what he's talking about. I turn ramming into the lockers by his shoulders. "Okay listen here Jake," everyone begins to stare, "Cassidy is NOT a whore okay? It was my fault it happened. Did you know she picked you over me, her best friend since birth? How stupid do you feel now? Huh? You think you're so great, but you're nothing! I can't wait until Cassidy realizes how worthless you really are and comes running back to me. And the funny part is, I finally realized it after being in love with you for years!" I'm so steamed I just let it slip out. Jake stands there looking at me with a mix of shock and disgust on his face. I let him go and we both stand there awkwardly. I start to walk away thinking about how stupid I am. I feel Jake grab my shoulder and I shrug him off. I walk out of the building looking for Cassidy. How can I be so stupid?..

***Jake's P.O.V

I can't believe Derek's gay.. I always thought he was just after Cassidy but instead he loves me.. Or at least loved. But why would he Cassidy if he's gay? Derek walks out of the building and I just stand there shocked. What do I say to that? I feel so stupid to think he's been in love with Cassidy this entire time. I've been a dick to him this entire time. I just can't get the fact that he kissed Cassidy out of my head. Was he just curious? Or is he lying about being gay?  Even if it was him I can't forgive Cassidy. She obviously seemed to be enjoying his kiss. She looked so passionate about it. It was like she couldn't let go. I sigh and head out of the building. I need to get Cassidy to forget him. I can't let her love a gay guy, or anyone in general while she's with me. I have to get her to love me the way I love her.. I'm going over to her house tonight..