I'm 12-16 With a Mental Illness

Story #7

Erm, Hello
I am 12(turning 13 in 7 days) and I struggle with anxiety and self-hate. It all began when was in 3rd grade(fetus) and I started felt like I was getting fat and I had some trouble making friends. I felt alone that year and l was very self-conscious of what hate, what l wore, etc. I still remember the day when I started to cry in class and was sent to the counselor. And, let me just say, I hated it. After that, I hid my feelings 24/7 and the following year l became more socially awkward and resulted in really only having 1 friend that year. That year, there was a lot of drama and she would stab me in the back almost every week. She soon spread rumours about me to everyone and it soon turned to where it happened on social media. But, l still told myself she was my friend. And, today I still laugh at myself for how stupid that was. The next year (believe it or not was still her friend, and it got to the point where it was ALWAYS on social media. She called me names, said l was worthless and that I would never make any friends. I believed her, and that's the year when I first attempted suicide by overdosing on my mom's pills. Me, being the chicken l was, spit them out and cried my eyes out. My family never knew about it (I'll tell them one day)Each day I came home crying and hating myself, thinking it was my fault. It took such a toll on me that I never even wanted to go out in public. But, that's when discovered Wattpad. And, (l'm being truthfully honest) the first story l read was The Butterfly Effect. After that, l started to feel more confident about myself, and even noticed that my 'only friend' had been struggling with self-harm. I soon
told her parents and the school principal about it, and ended up losing most my friends. That's when I started having anxiety attacks. When I saw other people hanging out, whispering. (To be honest, I had an AA this morning) But then middle school came, and I became happy again. I met
new people and even made people who have suffered the same as me online. Everyday l come home, I smile and I couldn't ask for more. Everyday is still an uphill battle with self-hate and anxiety, but I've learned to live with it. l'd like to say thank you to authors like @ExplosiveWafflez who helped me be who l am, and put a smile on my face. Thank you.

!!!ALSO HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY GIRLY!!!