nocturnal ↭ myg ; pjm

[17] the worry, it's emerging

if yoonmin is real jimin is definitely topping.

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[myg]

Mom called and told us to pay a visit. We went home more than an hour later to be greeted by our 5-year-old sister who's playing at the front yard. She was so excited to see us that she quickly clung onto my neck.

"I missed you!"

"We missed you too, Mingi. How are you doing?"

"Mommy and I are great!"

I smile to myself. She's so adorable. Mingi went inside with us while I carry her, Jimin following behind me. I'm really worried about him, but I just wish he won't be like this the whole time here. He hugged mom and so did I.

"Have you had dinner, boys?"

"No, not yet," I answered. Jimin then told us he'll be upstairs if we need him.

"What's wrong with that guy," asks a cute, chirpy voice. I turned around to find Mingi playing with our old robot and car toys.

"Mingi, I won't tolerate that behaviour. He's your big brother."

"Go away."

"I thought you missed us?"

"I did, but later on I know you'll leave me again."

"Mingi,"I called, but she payed me attention no more. She just continued on smashing the toys together like the robots are attacking all the cars. "Mom, why are you letting her play those? She should touch barbies and sippy cups... and mirrors instead."

"That's what she wants. Let her be."

I eyed Mingi again. She's even dressed in a boy short and an overshized shirt.

"Are we running out of money that you dress her in our old clothes?"

"No, honey. She says it's more comfortable than dresses and skirts and I just let her. Don't pry about it."

"Okay, I should teach her how to beat up her classmates."

"Shut it," mom bellowed and shooed me away the counter to slice the vegetables. "Go to your brother. He's acting really grumpy."

I mumbled okay as I left the kitchen and jogged up the stairs. I made sure to knock many times before opening his door. Inside I found him on his stomach, his eyes closed but they fluttered open when I sat next to him.

"Jimin, mom is really worried. Cheer up a little." I received a sigh and the shuffling of his body, turning his back on me. I laid down with him and hugged him from the back. "I love you."

Silence.

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Dinner is quiet and everyone is worried about Jimin. He's been acting really weird he's making Mingi sad.

"Honey, what's wrong? Don't you like the food?"

"I like it, mom. Don't worry."

"Sure."

Night fell and I can sense that Jimin wants to go home so badly, but mom wants us to spend an hour more. Jimin got irritated and went overboard that he accidentally yelled at her.

"Look, mom, I have class tomorrow and I just want to go home!"

"Jimin, what is wrong with you? I know this isn't about school," mom replies, "I know you well. I didn't raise you up to shout at me! You've never acted like this before."

"I said I have school tomorrow and that's it, okay? I don't want any talk."

I tried to stop mom from going near him. I told her he isn't in the right mood so she let him off the hook. Mingi was sobbing the whole time and mom had to go up to comfort her. I sat down beside Jimin who got his hands on his head.

"Let's go home. I'll tell them."

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"Jimin, tell me what's bothering you. I hate seeing you like this. I miss you," I said as we got off the car.

"Stop talking to me for a while, will you?"

"I fucking hate how you're acting right now." He snapped his head on me. I need to get it out of him. "Are you fucking crazy? Why would you shout at mom? And why would you ignore Mingi and I the whole time?"

Jimin left me at the parking lot and I had to run to catch up. "Damn it, Jimin, I'm talking to you!" I pulled him by the collar and in his eyes I can see he's almost tearing up from both being stressed and angry.

No, don't cry on me. "Just tell me what's wrong."

He looked over my shoulder before setting tired eyes on me.

I thought we'd be together in everything, but you're feeling things on your own. I can't even tell what exactly that is. One time you're angry, one time you're sad, and one time you just want to be alone.

"Everytime I look at mom's eyes, I feel like... like we're lying at her, 'cause we've been keeping this secret. I hate it... where we are right now. I—" Tears left his eyes but he wiped those off. "I'm serious when I say I want us to stop this, b-because... I don't want mom and dad to despise us for being this way. Yoongi hyung, I'm really sorry. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have..."

He took my hands off of him and slowly he walked up the stairs. He told me he wants us to break up, he told me he does not like any of this, and he then left me on that dark corner. But what hurts the most is him telling me he hates me before turning around. It doesn't sound convincing, but pain still shot me like bullet fired into my chest.

But I won't let him off now... now that I've loved him even more. Believe me, I won't. So I ran to catch him, to find him. And once I finally had his hand on mine, I won't let him let go off of me again. But it feels like the world has stopped, not because of having our fingers intertwined like how any cliche movies would describe the feeling, but because I blurted out the words I've been keeping, the truth I've always wanted to tell him.

"We're not brothers."

If that's what you're worried about, please don't worry anymore.