nocturnal ↭ myg ; pjm

[24] doing whatever it takes

[myg]

"Will you stop talking to me?"

"No, sir."

"Yoongi, just—Hyung." Jimin heavily sighs. "I'm tired, okay?" I see he's really doing his best.

"I, Min Yoongi, am awaiting for an answer."

Jimin slumps down the sofa after throwing his bag across the room. I threw mine too.

"I believe your ankle is in pain. Are you just gonna stand there?"

Now who's worried? "Yes, sir."

"I oddly think you are insane, soldier. Sit down."

"Yes, sir."

I sat down beside him, careful not to hurt my feet.

"Did I tell you to sit beside me? There is another seat there," Jimin points on the one-person sofa on the other end where he sits.

I gave him a look I believe is funny, because he just threw himself into a fit of laughter. If we could just be like this everyday.

"You were ugly. Like really."

I clicked my tongue and slides down deeper the soft cottony material, getting a bit comfortable now. 17:54 and I'm hungry.

"So what's your answer?" I asks, softly, as if telling him to be a little gentle on my heart.

I stare at the clock, at the wall, then at him.

"It's confidential for now."

"I did not ask to wait."

"Then don't wait."

Quickly, I stood up and grabbed him by his shoulder, looking into his eyes deeply with plea and scooting closer each time I breathe, but the longer I keep my position my foot aches even more.

-

"You are such an idiot. What were you doing hovering over me?"

"I was just about to kiss you."

My ankle is hurting even more by simply trying to kiss him. How is the world so cruel?

"You aren't being funny."

"Do you think I'm joking around?"

My gaze is on him and he is burning. Face the shade of rose so fresh. In a way so fire-y red that I can't look away.

He is so beautiful.

I want to tell him as if he hasn't heard it from anyone before.

"Jimin-ah, I can't wait to hear your answer."

I count a second. Two. And three.

"If you want me to treat you as a brother then tell me. Or if you want the real Yoongi or the boy you wish me to be then tell me also. Let me know. But now that I'm thinking of it, we can play either way anyways."

"You sure don't stop until you get what you want, do you?" He rolls his eyes at me and exhales very deeply. "Min Yoongi is my brother." I raise my eyebrows. "And that is my answer."

"And you just don't give up."

"I'm talking to mom when we get home again."

"For what?"

"What do you mean for what?"

"To ask her if I'm saying the truth? Or to know how we found you by the doorstep, decided to take care of you, and not throw you away like your real mother did?"

The atmosphere turned bleak in an instant and my mind is a mess and my mouth is spitting poisonous truth and I am staring at his eyes staring back at mine.

"You know, you should at least be considerate—" Jimin bites on his lip. "At least think of what I may feel, Yoongi."

"Jimin..."

I stood up, taking in all the pain on my ankle just to hug him. My mouth is silent now and my eyes are heavy and I am the mess. I want to tell Jimin how much I love him and how many more people love him. And I want to be just enough for him but I guess it's simply not a thing every person could be granted of. I want to make him feel special but he's crying again, he's hurting and I'm to blame. He was already okay, and I just had to ruin him again.

I can't hear his cries but I can feel his hurt despite his infinite seconds of silence. I must've grown accustomed to memorizing him by each day that I don't need to study him and know what he might be feeling, what he might be doing.

"Hyung, can you tell me something?"

I'm keeping a tight embrace to make him warm, for him not to shake, for him to stop shedding tears as if a thunder just roared and he's scared of all the possibilities that may happen.

"Like what, Jimin?"

"Anything."

I inhale and exhale, hugs him even tighter, stronger, bolder.

"I don't wanna keep anything to you from now on. And I'm saying this because I truly love you, idiot. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"Do you understand?"

"I said I do."

"You don't. I said I love you. Do you understand that?"

He hits my chest, I catch his hands. Hands that fit so perfectly on mine. Hands so warm and small and soft that got entangled with mine.

"I guess this answers my question then."

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talk to me if you have time

please please please read red letters and papercut