nocturnal ↭ myg ; pjm

[21] hate with passion

[pjm]

Yoongi hyung was hugging me tenderly when we got home. I had this urge to hug back but I just can't do that. I tell myself everytime to make sure not to give even a small affection or approval to what he does. I tell myself to stop falling in love even more everytime he embraces me.

I just don't want to.

I told him I don't like him anymore a hundred of times now but he just won't give up. And I don't wanna give in to him. I don't wanna look weak.

Pride.

Pride is with me. It's his enemy right now. Not me.

"Stop touching me." I disentangled his arms on my waist and pushed him away.

"Just get back with me. I know you also want us to."

"I told you already—"

"Do you think," he starts, "I'd believe you? Even if you tell the whole world you don't like me, I know you're lying just by the look in your eyes. I won't ever give up, Jimin. It's you who should. Call me your brother. Call me pathetic. Tell me everything you wanted to. Tell me you don't like me. Tell me you hate me, but no. That just doesn't work on me anymore. 'Cause I know you're lying."

"Lying? Why don't we talk about that? But don't mistake me. I've forgiven you for keeping your mouth shut, but that doesn't mean we'll go back to how we used to be."

I don't even know if lying is the right term to describe what they did to me.

He purses his lips and I noticed the glint of impatience in his eyes as he scoots closer, his hands making their way to my side and resting on the counter behind me, and his face only inches away now.

"I've been so good to you, Jimin," he yaps. I click my tongue when he grabs my jaw not too softly, forcing me to straightly face him. "Why can't you be to me?" The look he's giving me is fierce, pushy, and fervent. "Why are you so hard to get, hm?"

"You're annoying me," I bellow, "I told you to stop." I push him away once again, but harder this time. I'm not in the mood to deal with him but he just pressed himself even closer on me. "Yoongi, just fucking stop."

He grins from ear to ear and I roll my eyes. He just heard no honorific from me and now he's smiling? I remember him losing his temper on me when I called Hoseok as hyung and not him.

I don't get him at all.

"Can you say that again?" His hands are cupping my cheeks. I had this desire to kick his groin for him to stop but I did not. I just let his hands on my face, on my cheeks, then on my hair next.

"Tell me to stop," he snarls, and I did as he told me, but his grip on my hair tightens. "Tell me you don't like me." I did, and with every grant his hold tightens like he wants me to say the opposite for it to loosen. "Tell me you hate me."

His voice is nowhere soft, and his hands aren't gentle anymore. His eyes show hostility, and his jaw is firm as he grits his teeth.

"Hyung—"

It's so scary to think that he can do this to me, that he can do what he wants, grab my hair as hard or as softly as he wants, tell me what to do and force me what to say.

"You hate me, right?" he asks. "Then tell me you do."

"Stop. My head hurts."

I try to unravel his hand from my hair but he just tightens it with every attempt I do.

My lips are shaking, but despite that, I did what he asked me to do. I told him I hate him.

And then he kissed me.

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*breathes heavily*