nocturnal ↭ myg ; pjm

[39] future is unknown

"Are you not ever coming back?"

"I don't think I can. I don't know." Jimin shrugs his shoulders. "I'm very thankful, Hyungwon. You've been there at times I needed someone, but you've also been there even though I ask you not to. You're really a douche."

Hyungwon laughs, "But you like me right?" Jimin hides his face from embarrassment. "Come on now, Jimin, tell me."

Hyungwon tries to remove Jimin's hands hiding the boy's face but Jimin doesn't let him. Until he tickles him and he's able to see Jimin's red face.

Jimin just keeps on laughing.

"I know you like me even if you don't say it. But I want you to promise me that you won't ever forget me."

All of a sudden, Jimin stops laughing. His eyes once showing ecstasy became two pools of grief. Hyungwon saddens all of a sudden too.

"Of course, Hyungwon."

"That's Hyungwon hyung for you."

The memories are all coming back, and he's too excited to come back home. How he wished they're all waiting for him.

"I'm just trying to cheer you up while you're still here, hoping you'd bring it all the way back home, but I guess I failed."

"N-No, I'm okay! Really."

Hyungwon hesitantly nods his head, and whispers a single okay. "So... is this the last goodbye then?"

"Here, write your number," Jimin tells him as he hands out a paper.

"For real?" Hyungwon asks as he laughs a bit. He writes down on the paper that was handed to him before returning it back to Jimin along with a blue pen. Jimin keeps it inside his pocket and makes sure he won't lose it. He keeps on blinking and Hyungwon just had to laugh.

"Don't cry now."

"I won't cry. And to be honest, I don't wanna leave, but at the same time I'm excited to leave. Can't you just come with me?"

Hyungwon shakes his head. "Be safe." He ruffles Jimin's blonde hair and softly pats on his head after. "Get taller."

Finally Jimin has boarded on the plane. But he doesn't want to see his father, afraid of what he can do. And he doesn't want to see Yoongi so soon, afraid that the boy won't believe in him.

"What are your thoughts right now, Yoongi? I hope you're still missing me as much as I do."

[jjg]

I had never drank too much alcohol my entire life. But right now, I'm just wasted.

Taehyung hyung has been going out with that Hoseok guy and I can't help but try not to cross paths with anyone of those two. He seems happier than ever, always giggling around, always joking around. At school I would see them, but our eyes would never meet.

Is it because he's ignoring me? Or am I just too desperate of running away? Too scared of getting ignored? Although what I do is the same, and same things will happen to me whether I try to talk to him or not. In the end, I'll just get hurt. At the end of the day, I know we had to part, and he has to go back to that guy.

But why am I even running away, you ask? 'Cause I can't accept the fact that he's able to leave me for another man. I'm his bestfriend, along with Jimin hyung, but with just one blink of an eye and he's gone.

As of Jimin hyung... If he's doing good in US then fine, he is, but he could've at least told me how he's doing. And moreover, he should've payed respect to his brother. For one reason here, I think they're the same. And I am fine on my own now. I'm doing good on my own. I don't need anyone now. Just me and my soul alone.

Five days ago was the last time I saw our friends, which includes Taehyung, Hoseok, Yoongi, and the other two I can't remember. At Jimin hyung's house I visited Yoongi hyung to see how he's doing. I didn't expect to see all of them there, and him in the same situation as I am now. Guess we're both left behind, huh?

On this table where I stay seated, I laugh as I eye the people having fun. I can feel them. They're not happy despite the smile they show off. Just trying to escape reality for a while. Trying to get indulge in the sweet effect of alcohol beating inside their veins, along with the loud, blaring music driving them all crazy.

I bang my head on the table, getting the attention of some people. I see one of them coming closer. It's a boy who seems to be lesser drunk than I am. Slipping beside me, he asks what I'm doing.

"What am I doing? Haha, fuck off. Do you not realize I want to be alone?"

He got a cigarette in between his lips and I just want to inhale the reek of it. Coming out from his mouth are smokes of black and gray and I feel hypnotized. Later on I found myself hovering over him and my mouth covering his after he has put the litten stick aside.

I can feel his hands on my hips, pulling me down harder, deeper, closer. As I bite on the guy's neck, I hear him whispering out my name.

The next morning I found myself naked on a bed with another guy. I jolt up, the blanket falling down from my shoulders, showing more of my bare skin. I can feel pain from my body and I'm very sure that I just had sex with, I suppose, a stranger.

I hiss at the stinging pain at my ass. Looking over beside me is someone whom I do not expect at all.

"Hyung—A-Aw, shit," I accidentally curse as I try to get out from the bed. He turns over and looks at me with tired and morning eyes. "Ah, this is so awkward. Why am I here? W-Why did we...?"

"I brought you here after seeing you at the bar last night. And I hate how you don't remember anything."

"I guess this whole thing is just me and you getting drunk."

Hyung sits up and rubs his temple. "If that's what you like to think of it, then I prefer getting drunk with you more often."

It was unknown to me that I was biting on my bottom lip until he told me. He motions his hand for me to get back to bed. "Come closer, Jeongguk."

Hesitant as I could be, slowly I was able to settle myself beside him. I could still feel the warmth I felt last night. And it's getting clear in my head: the sight of him pulling me closer, him diving deeper, and me giving in to his touch so addicting. It's getting so clear how much I wanted him. But that was only last night and a mistake like that won't ever happen again.

I was sent back to my own senses when he pushes me down harshly and nips on the bottom of my lips.

"Hyung—" gasps out a breathy voice, but this definitely did not come out from me.