Hidden (UN-EDITED; on hiatus indefinitely, sorry)

Chapter Thirty-Four

-Trigger Warning: (spoiler alert) Suicide Attempt-

Silence. It was eerie in the black of the night, only the occasional sound of water dripping down from the leaking pipes above daring to break the sinful quiet that surrounded me.

"They died for you, ya know."

I whipped around, fear flooding deep inside me.

"Wh-who is it?"

"What, you don't recognize me babe?"

My skin crawled as I suddenly recognized the arrogant voice.

"Xavier, where are you?"

"They died because of your mistakes." he spoke calmly.

"Shut up..." I muttered through clenched teeth, tears stinging at my eyes.

"Because you couldn't handle me." he sighed in fake sympathy, though I could tell he was smiling. "You know, you really had it coming to you."

I tried to take another step forward, but felt something on my ankle holding me back. I looked down and saw my mother, trying desperately to pull me to her. I covered my mouth in horror and shock as her face grew paler, the floor around her redder...

"Brooke, why did you do this?" my mother managed to utter out, her voice wavering as the mortality of her injuries began to take its toll.

"Mom!" I shouted, tears suddenly streaming down my face as I bent down and wrapped my arms around her fragile body, only to fall forward and open my eyes to see nothing there. Still, my hands were colored with the scarlet of her blood. Xavier's cruel laughter echoed around me.

"What's wrong with you.." I whispered, allowing the bitterness that had been welling up inside of me for so long to escape me.

"What's wrong with me?" he asked innocently. "A lot. but you don't have time to hear about that if you want to save them..."

I looked around and suddenly heard my little sister and father screaming.

_

I gasped as I awoke. Even though I was with Zayn, the nightmares persisted throughout the night. I sat up on the bed and lightly pressed my feet against the cold floor, sending chills up my spine. I lifted my hands in front of my face, staring at them. I could practically see the blood on my hands, as it was in my dream. I slowly brought them back down in order to calm myself. Exactly. It was just a dream. It was just a dream...

I flinched at the feeling of someone touching my hand, jerking it away and holding it close to me. I hesitantly set it back down before taking a shaky breath.

"Hey, are you okay?" a drowsy Zayn said from behind me.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I said.

He moved from his spot so he was sitting next to me. I looked down at my feet, unable to do anything else. Once again, he tried to take my hand in his, but this time I stood up before he could.

"I'm going to go take a shower." I said, my voice cracking at the end.

"Brooke..?" Zayn called after me, a hint of worry and pain in his voice.

Tears stung at my eyes as my pace quickened. I grabbed the knob of the bathroom door with trembling hands and yanked it open before shutting and locking it. I walked over to the shower and turned the water on. My emotions began to overwhelm me and my knees gave out underneath me. I leaned against the wall behind me and slowly slid down, staring blankly at the door.

I saw a pair of shoes through the gap above the floor. As much as I wanted to be alone, a small part of me wanted the comfort of someone else's warm arms around me. A soothing voice to give me false hope, saying I would be okay. But the feet stood outside the door for only a faultering moment, giving up on me and abandoning me a second later.

I felt tears falling from my cheeks and wiped them quickly, ashamed with myself. I shouldn't have been so naive to think that someone had actually wanted to make sure I was okay. After all, it could have just been Louis needing to use the toilet.

I stood up and slid my shirt off my aching body, allowing it to fall into a withering heap on the floor. The rest of my pajamas soon followed and I stared at the pile. Like my sister had, it lay on the cold floor, limp and lifeless. I picked the mess up with disgust, holding it away from me before banishing it to the far corner of the bathroom, now folded I'm a neat stack.

I took a deep breath and finally stepped into the shower. Instead of scrubbing, I stared at my feet. I felt so mentally numb that I couldn't tell if I was crying or it was just the shower's droplets sliding down the pale skin of my face in a failed attempt to wash away my sins.

The water began to burn me, leaving my skin a raw pink. I turned around and shut it off, not because of the pain but in consideration of the boys, knowing they may need it. I lazily grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself, taking a glance in the mirror. I noticed bags under my eyes and a scowl upon my lips- an overall pitiful sight. I faked a smile and fixed my hair so that my bangs cast shadows over my eyes that hid the imperfections.

As I reached for the door nob, I heard voices from the living room.

"Zayn, you'll have to tell her eventually." someone, I imagined Liam, spoke with a sense of urgency.

"Not now, alright."

"The longer you put it off, mate, the worst it will be- you know that." Niall insisted.

"Bu-"

"You have to tell her today."

There was a pause. I took advantage of the moment and opened the door, the sudden rush of cold air sending goosebumps up my arms. Though I kept my gaze down, I could feel the five pairs of eyes burning into my back.