Hidden (UN-EDITED; on hiatus indefinitely, sorry)

Chapter Thirty-Five

The rough canvas of the luggage gnawed at my already raw shoulder as I walked down to the lobby, greeting the jeering cries of mixed emotions from beyond the glass with a small smile. Posters pressed against the barrier as the crowd waited I'm anticipation of what may be their only chance at getting a glimpse of their five favorite men. Words painted in neon: waiting for bae, Louis got that booty, 1D 4life- they seemed distant today. The anxiety of the departure soon to come gave the hectic routine of the morning a sort of surreal feeling.

One foot in front of the other, I reminded myself, keep your head up high and remember the real you. It's all that matters. I clung to these words, which Zayn had spoke to me the day after my incident. "It's something you have to learn the hard way when you're forced into the spotlight. Everyone in this world is biased and set in their ways. If they don't hate you for some preconceived idea of how the world works, they're jealous and set out to destroy you. You just have to take it one day at a time."

I set the bag down and glanced at the clock. We had only a few minutes before the car was to take us to the airport. Only a few minutes before my last moments of privacy with Zayn by my side. What was I to say? All the words that would be otherwise left unspoken for lord knows how long would have to be exchanged within the confides of that ride. I wiped my palms on the fabric of my ripped jeans. After all we had been through, I was at a loss for ideas.

Just as I thought my heart would come sputtering out of my mouth in its maddening panic, he stepped into my view. And just that was enough to distract me. I hadn't fully realized until recently how much I had admired the way he carried himself- self confident but not overly so, kind smile that made you feel understood, and eyes that had the tendency to display the softer side of him- no matter how he dressed. He took only a single glance around the room before meeting my gaze.

Suitcase trailing behind him, he strode forward and embraced me, caressing my head with his hand. I gratefully wrapped my arms around his torso and rested in the comfort of his warmth, taking in the faint scent of cologne and the soft cotton of his shirt. Somewhere that couldn't be here, as here was with Zayn, the dull sound of dozens of girls shouting in a mixture of emotions was evident. I felt the heat of his breath against my ear as he spoke to me.

"You know, you can still come with us. I'm sure my family wouldn't mind meeting the girl they've been hearing about for weeks."

As much as I wanted to accept this offer, I merely shook my head, moving my gaze to the velvety carpet that spanned behind him. "I have to piece myself together before I see them. I just-"

Zayn nodded and pulled my closer before I could continue and make a fool of myself. Maybe he couldn't bare to hear it. Most likely, he didn't want me breaking down in front of the camera lenses within the midst of the crowd outside. The breath I had been holding in eased its way out and I closed my eyes briefly.

The moment didn't last long. Liam notified Zayn that it was time and we hesitantly parted, making our way towards the door and out into the brisk morning air. My thin white sweater was easily pierced by the teeth of the light breeze. The masses around us struggled to get closer, barely parting as we pressed through. Some girl managed to claw her nails at my arm, leaving behind a short trail of red. I rubbed the area to ease the sting but otherwise paid no attention.

I was the last of us to stumble into the car, taking a minute to ease the shaking of my hands enough to fasten my seatbelt. Zayn tapped his foot rhythmically on the floor and I realized that he didn't want to leave any more than I wanted to stay. His blank expression lay cast ahead at the road in front of us, hand on his bouncing knee. It seemed that everyone was silent at first. Seconds passed cruelly by, sapping my strength as I once again struggled with what to say. The driver turned on the radio and finally conversation sparked, igniting the excitement in the voices of the boys once more. I rested my head on Zayn's shoulder.

"You're not going to miss it, are you?" He asked grimly. I tilted my head to see his still unreadable expression.

"What do you mean?"

"The attention. I mean, you don't seem like the type to enjoy it."

I shrugged and pressed my lips together.

"I'll miss you." I stated, emphasizing the last word in a light tone.

He sighed and shook his head, still avoiding my eyes.

"Promise you'll keep in touch." I demand, still watching him. He finally looks at me and I sit up straight, worried by his expression.

"I promise." He states after a moment.

In that moment, I could feel it deep down that he was hiding something, but I held back, for fear of tainting the moment. The rest of the ride was silent between us, consumed by the banter of where to visit back home and whom to see. Instead of focusing on the emptiness of his words, I turned away and watched New York pass by.

-

When we got to the airport, I ended up lost in the crowd. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't hurt by what was said now, feeling by vulnerable without him. Eventually, I knew that the plane would have already left and gave up on looking for them.

My own plane back to California, which Zayn had insisted I caught, left an hour later. I bought a pair of earbuds and decided going deaf to a few of my old playlists wouldn't be that horrible after all. I don't know exactly how long I sat in the leathery seat but by the end of the flight, my bones ached from lack of movement.

Vivian greeted me with her usual excitement and stories about conversations with Harry that I had missed. As happy as I was for her, jet lag and emotional autopilot took over and I could tell that I wasn't giving the reaction she expected. She drove me back to her new apartment in a rustic looking truck with paint on the verge of peeling. When we arrived, I collapsed on her couch next to my bags and curled into a ball.

My phone rang three times before I bothered to look at it. I had missed a few texts and it took me a few times to understand what they were.

Brooke... Hey, we gotta talk

Are you back yet?

Listen, I hate to do this, but damn it will you just pick up the phone so I can explain

Since you're not picking up, I guess I have to just say it...

It's not by choice, you have to understand that. But management isn't happy with my image recently... I really am sorry Brooke but I can't see you right now. I'll try to convince them as soon as this is all cleared up, but until then, it's over.

I don't remember which came first, the tears or the horrified shriek. Vivian nearly broke her favorite mug after hearing the sound as she rushed over to see what was wrong. My phone fell onto the rug and I wept into my hands like a child.

It's over.

Authors note

ITS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER. I lied last chapter on accident @-@" There's too many loose ends. And as it's not the end, please no one be too mad? I love you guys and thank you for pushing me to finish this. [lol story of my life just started playing]

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK~ and if you enjoyed it, hit that beautiful vote button. <3