Let Me Open Your Eyes

Chapter 18- Finally

{"I do not want you to fill the empty parts of me I want to be full on my own

               I want to be so complete that I could fill a whole city 

                                    and I want the two of us combined to set it on fire"}

After I had ignored Aspen's plea to meet up, he had been giving me a taste of my own medicine and declining my calls. As I heard the answer machine once more, I let out a loud groan, throwing my phone across the bed in anger. No matter how many messages I had left him saying that I was sorry for not coming, he was giving me radio silence.

ANSWERING MACHINE FULL

I ran my hands through my hair as disappointment rose up inside my chest. I knew that I should have seen Aspen and talked to him instead of staying in with Megan, but part of me was still angry at his short phone call where he hung up on me. Thinking back on everything, he had been teaching me to open up and tell people about my feelings, yet it was simply ironic as I barely knew anything about him.

The boy who was trying to find out my secrets seemed to have the most of all.

A couple of days later my phone finally rang, his name causing panic to shoot through me as I hurried to answer. I had never expected him to finally get into contact with me but at the same time it was almost as if I had been waiting for it the entire time, my body finally coming alive with a purpose.

"Aspen?" I breathed, "You're finally going to talk to me then?"

He let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say but I just wasn't in the right place. I need to remember that we are friends...I can't just ignore you after everything."

My tongue felt heavy, the words coming out slightly forced. "Yeah, we are friends. Of course.."

"But I was an asshole" he sighed tiredly, "I'm sorry."

I chewed on my lower lip, my eyes clenching shut in desperation. "Does that mean that you will come and meet me? I really need to talk to you."

He seemed reluctant but finally let out a shaky breath. "Yeah, I'll be round soon."

I hung up the phone with a growing sense of anxiety in my stomach, finding it hard to swallow. A part of me knew that we needed to talk about everything and that I would find it hard to hide my feelings for much longer. We had come so far together and been through a lot, but part of me would always be terrified that he didn't feel the same way. It is a terrifying thing to have feelings for someone, you put your entire soul out in front of them and hand them your heart, just waiting for some sort of indication that they will accept you. If they don't then there is no going back and that is something that I didn't know if I was ready for.

If I told him and he didn't feel the same, then I could lose him. That was the thing that scared me the most.

...

When I opened the front door he was standing there with a sheepish smile, his eyes filled with a strange sadness as if something was coming to an end. His hair was still brown and slightly tousled, his blue eyes still inexplicable, but there seemed as if something had changed about him.

"Your mother not home?" he questioned with curious eyes before stepping in.

"She is at work" I smiled, "but you have met her anyway."

"I know" he gave a small smile but his eyes were still sad, "but I want to meet her with you, properly like you are meant to. Like normal people."

"We aren't that strange" I tease him and he laughs slightly, glancing at me nervously.