KanamexZero

I Never Married You

"I love you.." I said as they dragged me away from the body of the love of my life.

"Zero!" I yelled as I sat up in the bed. I looked over and seen his side of the bed empty again. I sighed. I rubbed my eye and pulled my knees up. You know that feeling you get when someone you love dies? That feeling you get that feels like part of your heart has been torn out and done away with and there isn't anything that could replace it? I didn't feel that when Zero died right in front of me. I just felt numb. I was selfish and greedy, because even though he gave me two beautiful parts of him I couldn't be happy with just that. I wanted him, his smart remarks, his rare confessions of affection. All of him.

Then I realized that I never got to marry him. When I watched the paramedics give the signal to stop trying to shock his heart back to life, as I looked into his lifeless eyes, I realized that I didn't give him enough. I didn't love him enough, he died without knowing just how much I loved him. And he was right, I couldn't get the blood out of the damn sheets, but I bought him his new ones like I promised.

"What is it? You'll wake him up too if you aren't careful." He said as he fed our little girl. I got up and walked over to him. He looked at me skeptically. "Did you have another bad dream?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, because I can't seem to forget what happened that night." I said, kissing him on the cheek. "I thought I lost you." I said, my lips lingering on his skin.

"I'm sorry, I'll make sure that I don't have a near death experience in the future for the sake of you." He said, sticking his tongue out at me.

"Oh really? How generous of you." I said with a smile. I laid my chin on his shoulder, my hands on his waist. I sighed contentedly. He looked at me with a smirk. "What?" I asked with a smile.

"You still like me, don't you?" He asked, causing me to laugh lightly and shake my head.

"No, I don't." He feigned hurt, but smiled as he fed Sakuri. "I love you, there's a difference." I recited, remembering what he'd said months before I even had a clue as to what he would give me. I knew I loved him before, but nearly losing him forever gave me a new sight for life. I had to love him, every second of the day because I never knew when I would lose him.

"Well, I think that you should feed our son before he starves." He told me, and I sighed. I let go of him and started to fix a bottle for our son. "Can you believe that Ichiru laughed at what we named him? I mean, it's not a horrible name." He said quietly, not looking at me. I walked over and picked Ren up.

"I think it's a wonderful name. Fits him." I said, picking up the small boy. He always had a blank face, never crying or laughing, reminding me of Zero. "He's just like you." I laughed as I began feeding him.

"Ren is like both of us, I imagine him to grow up hating his sister but he would do anything to protect her." He said with a small smile. "Sakuri will have a lot of boys knocking on the door." He smirked.

"Oh the poor boys." I said, causing him to laugh. "Hey, Zero. Can I tell you something?"

"You just did." He joked and I rolled my eyes. "But yeah, what is it?" He asked, becoming serious.

"I never married you." I said without looking at him. I could feel him looking at me, but I didn't dare look back. I didn't really know why I said that, it just kind of happened. I smiled at Ren as he looked at me while I fed him.

"Do you really during all of this I would expect you to marry me?" He asked as if I was crazy. "Besides, the first time I told you I loved you I practically said my vows to you. Legally or not, I'm already married to you." He said with a small smile. "But I do expect to have a ring one day."

"And you will. I promise you that, you will get a ring and a lifetime of happiness." I promised. He laughed and shook his head, looking at me from the side.

"I think I've already gotten the lifetime of happiness dear." He said to me. "But don't expect me to walk down a god forsaken aisle to get to your ass." He said, whispering the last word so the kids wouldn't hear.

"Awe, how sweet. You've gone soft for the kids." I joked and he shook his head at me.

"You know what I realized when I died that night?" He said as he put Sakuri down in her bed gently. "I realized that I just wasn't ready to die yet, and I hadn't told you just how much you meant to me." He said as he leaned on the dresser with his back facing me. "So tell me, think back to when you were younger and hadn't known me long, and tell me if you would've thought we'd be here?"

"Not here, no. Not with these two bundles of pure joy. But growing up with you, you always seemed to get more attractive every day, always seemed to haunt my thoughts, and it was like I just couldn't get away from your glare. I wanted to hate you, I really did. But I'm glad I didn't."

"I don't know what you did, or how you did it, but you have successfully ruined my life." He said, catching me off guard. "I wanted to do a lot of things, like be one of the best vampire hunters in the world, but I can't do that now." He walked over to me, brushing some of Ren's hair out of his face. "I just wanted to thank you for that." He added. I kissed him lightly on the lips, savoring the feeling of it.

"Marry me?"

"You know I wouldn't ever do that."

Wellllllllllllllllllll see you next chapter!