The Hospital Room (Cashley & Jindy)

Chapter 14

~Ashley's POV~

It'd been so long since I'd last been in that hospital that had held me captive for that long period of time. I still couldn't tell you how long I was there for, despite the fact that there are records with everything down in words. What I'd eaten, how long I'd sleep for, how bad my aggression problems had been, everything. Including the amount of time I'd spent sat in a hospital bed with nothing to do other than replay memories in my head like a broken record.

But, I was free now. Completely free, and though I still struggled, I had medication I could take, and it did help, it really did. I've been against medication for so long, but now I depend on it like a lifeline, like I couldn't so much as take a breath without the pills I swallow. I'd rather depend on medication than want to die though, I'd gotten past the stage where I would wish a car would hit me as I crossed the busy roads, and those days were long gone.

All I could do was hope that my life would stay on a high, which wouldn't sink so low again, I never want to go so low to the point where I actually try to die before my time. Not again, I couldn't handle that a second time round, I barely managed the first time. Though, some surprisingly amazing things happened because of my terrible depression and problems. I had met the best people on earth, my best friends, and the love of my life. It was if I was a character in a book, that a writer was pouring out their emotions into me and wishing that I, the character could have my happily ever after. And I'd be damned if I wouldn't get my happily ever after, after all that I've been through. I've been to hell and back, and then hell again to get to this point in my life, and I wouldn't give it up for the world. I have my world, I have him safe and close, I'm never letting him go, not even if it would kill me. I'd take all the pain in the world to make sure that my love was safe from all harm. It was the least I could do for him, he brightened up my day, he made me laugh, he made me cry, made me worry, but he made me love him and I can't stop, I'm in too deep.

And even right now as I'm sat up, insomnia taking over my head for maybe the tenth time this month, I don't care because my love is lying beside me, short breaths escaping his lips. He looked so peaceful, so content... all I can do is hope that I make him feel the way he makes me feel. And I know he doesn't understand some things the way in which others do, I don't care, I'll explain it to him for as long as it takes before he understands. I feel as if he could never frustrate me so much as to where I would scream and yell, even though I suffer with anger problems, and bipolar disorder. He never upsets me so much as to where all I see is red. He makes me feel normal, like there's nothing wrong with me.

He's a shooting star and I'm but a mere human watching from afar, but I'd rather that than not seeing him at all, I need him to survive the harsh life that I must go through with in this world. Sometimes I almost wish that I was still in the hospital, but then I wouldn't be able to experience the things that I have. I wouldn't be able to take my love to foreign countries and explore ruins with him. I wouldn't be able to buy presents for him, I wouldn't be able to live.

But with him by my side, I feel as though I've been living since I'd first kissed his lips, my blood feels like fire when we touch, like I almost can't touch him, but I force myself to because I love it, and the feeling that comes with it only proves the fact that I love him to pieces. I couldn't describe all the separate reasons as to why I love him as I do, all I know is that I would lay down my life to keep him alive and well, I'd rather die than be without him. He's my lifeline.

The night turned to day, the sun rose and I hadn't slept at all, despite the home remedies I'd tried, I couldn't fall asleep, the bags were appearing under my eyes fast, but I ignored them, I'd be fine as long as I didn't faint. Everything would be fine, I just had to grin and bear it, I had to work through it.