week 5 of relationship -
Today he was at my community, He bought his best friend and I brought mine. He had many close friends but she was the only friend that lived in the same community as me. My best friend also lived in my community but she lived way closer to me, we could practically talk to each other from our bedroom windows. I was also friends with his best friend but she was the type of girl that was friends with EVERYONE.
That day was fun, but stupid. It's a day I don't regret living but a day I regret not doing as much as I could of done, or said. My best friend got high of catnip and we all just sat around laughing at her. It's not high as if she's just smoked weed or something, she was just hyped up. She danced around the small crappy park and kicked piles of leaves. The weather was nice and everyone seemed to be talking about something, it never got to the awkward stage.
Half way through the day liz (his best friend) asked if "sky" could go and get something to burn, maybe some cardboard or paper. He agreed to go but decided that he wouldn't go alone. A cute little scenario filtered through my head, the things that could happen if I went.. Just then his voice broke through my day dream and brought me to reality. "Tyler, please can you come with me?" He asked so gently I almost felt my body swaying towards him.
He was standing in front of me and I was still sitting on the grass. "Why not" I said as a huge smile spread over my face. He stretched out his arm and left it front of my, I held his hand and he helped me up. I let go of his hand and brushed some of the grass and dirt of my jeans and tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ears, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and insecure. I followed him to the road, and finally he asked me something.
"Where do you thinks the best place to go?" He asked me.. I chuckled a little, mainly because I was hoping that he would of asked me something else. "Let's go to the abandoned house" I said, blushing a little. He asked me where that was, I told him it was close by. I saw him look at me a few times, I hate my side profile. I feel like a cow. I looked back at him when he looked away from me. UGHHH why does he have to be so damn hot. He's just so fucking perfect... And he has an amazing personality, I mean come on. What's more in a guy?
We walked and talked for a while, got what we needed and the walked back. I wish it wasn't as awkward but it was one of the first times we'd been out together. Lizzie walked back to her house about and hour and a half after that. My best friend decided to climb a few big trees so I let her be, I lay down on the grass and start twiddling my fingers and hands.
A few moments later he comes and lays down next to me! I felt a little explosion inside of me. I felt so happy but I contained it, (saved it for later) ;). We turned our heads and kinda just looked at each other for a while.
His eyebrows were naturally beautiful, haha totally not weird at all. But I could practically fantasize over his facial features. His smile was one of a kind, and his eyes... Well his eyes were the most amazing things in the world. They were something special. When I'm sad or feel alone, I shut my eyes and think about him, his voice, his hair, his eyes. And then suddenly I don't feel sad or alone anymore. Now I'm sorry if I haven't explained it enough yet. But I have love with him. And I hope he has love with me. I wish I knew what I looked like to him. I wish I knew what I meant to him.
"In the end we all die, so how many times do you want to live to make death worth it?"
