Post it notes (Watty's 2016)

Chapter 8

It had been a few days since I last saw James. He wasn't at school for a few days after the incident. When he finally did come back, he seemed different. He was more distant than usual.

During lunch I went to the library, and he wasn't there. I sat down at my table, and started reading. My secret admirer book. Later, James walked in, and I looked up at him but he turned around when he saw me. I stood up and ran after him, when I caught up to him I stopped him and asked him where he was going.

"I'm going to lunch."

"Ok, then come back to the library with me."

"I can't."

"Why not, we eat there everyday?"

"I just can't."

"Well-"

"Look, we can't be friends."

"Why not?"

"Because we can't I just-" he trailed off as he finished his sentence.

"Is this why you weren't at school, were you avoiding me?"

"No, I miss school sometimes because-" he paused. "Look, if the situation was different, then maybe we could be something, but today we can't."

"What situation?"

"Nothing." he said as the bell rang and he left to go to class.

I stood there, shocked as I watched him walk away. Students pushed past me in the hallway, as they left the lunch room. They pushed past me, but I couldn't move, I was frozen in place as my everything came crashing down.

I wouldn't have cared as much, but when he said that, I realized how much I really liked him. I didn't mean to fall for him, but that was when I realized I did.

Going through the hallway after that was like slow motion, I didn't really care about anything after that. I just barely made it through the school day and home until I got to my room, and just fell to the ground as the tears started.

After a while, I sat up on my bed, and stared at my desk. I saw the book, and I didn't feel like reading it any longer. I threw it in a desk drawer and fell asleep as I cried.

****

The next morning, I didn't go to school. I laid in bed almost all day until my mom started getting worried about me, and I had to get up even if I didn't want to.

The second day, I had to go to school, my mom wouldn't let me stay home anymore. I woke up in the morning, and just threw on a blue hoodie with jeans and white converse.

I got to school and laid low. I know I looked like a mess, but I didn't care. Eventually lunch came around and I debated whether or not to go to the library. However, I found myself going to the library anyway, it was what was natural.

I walked in and saw James sitting there. I put my head down and stared at my tray as I walked to my seat, avoiding any eye contact. This probably wasn't a smart idea, because someone ran into me and made me spill my lunch.

They left, and I just sat on the floor. I sighed as I picked up my used to be hamburger off the floor. I threw it away and sat down at my seat. As soon as I sat down, I put my head down on the desk and tears started cascading down my cheeks. I tried to cry silently so he didn't hear me. After a second, James sat down next to me.

"Why are you crying, you can get another lunch?"

"It's not the lunch." I said with a small smile and almost a laugh. He could always make me feel better.

"What is it?"

"I feel like everything in my life is just going wrong, everything is crashing down."

"Oh."

"It's just that nothing is going right, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Oh, ok."

"What's this about?" He asked, but I could tell he already knew what the answer would be.

"It's nothing." I tried to tell him, so I didn't seem so annoying with the whole friend thing.

"It's obviously something."

"Why do you care, it's not like we're friends?"

"That's what this is about."

"Why-" I started but I didn't want to finish. "Did I do something wrong?" I whispered, my voice breaking a little. I didn't want him to hear me but I wanted to say it.

"No, we just can't be friends. Ok?"

"No, not ok."

"Why not? Why do you care so much? I don't need your pity, you can leave me alone."

"PITY? You think this is pity?" I said as I stood up and picked up my things. "Well let me just clear this up. This isn't pity." I paused. "I like you." I said as I rushed out, tears running down my face.

I didn't even care that school wasn't over, I just walked out and went home. I laid in my bed for the rest of the night and just replayed the conversation in my mind. I thought over and over about it, until I was just tired of it and went to sleep.