Post it notes (Watty's 2016)

Chapter 17

I shoved the slip of paper into my pocket after reading it, and ran to James' house. Once I got there, I knocked on the door. I hoped he would answer the door and my heart would feel lighter. Unfortunately, his teary eyed, puffy cheeked, all around sad looking mother opened the door.

"Please." I started. "Please tell me it's not true." I begged her, but I could tell by her appearance that it was true.

"Come in." She said with a tired voice.

I stepped inside, and we walked into the kitchen. We sat down at the kitchen table.

"How are you, honey?"

"How am I? What about you?"

"I'll be ok."

"How? How did it happen? Was it Laden?"

"No honey. James was sick."

"He didn't seem sick. This couldn't have happened, he was fine two days ago."

"He was fighting an illness, he didn't want to tell you, because-"

"He kept pushing me away, even though he was my secret admirer. He warned me, but I didn't listen.-"

"He cared about you, and the fact that you were with him, despite his warnings, meant a lot to him. He loved you."

"I loved him."

"His funeral is Saturday, he asked for you to make the speech."

"What?"

"I'm sorry it's so sudden, but he really didn't want you to know he was dying."

"I have to write a whole speech by Saturday?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I'm happy to do it."

"Thank you."

"But, I don't know how."

"Just write about what he meant to you."

"Ok, I'll try."

"He was lucky to have you, you really did help him."

"I should probably leave, I don't want to intrude." I said, wiping some tears from my cheeks and attempting a smile.

"Honey, I love having you here. And I don't think you should be alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Actually I don't really want to be alone either."

"Thank you."

"What was wrong with him?"

"The doctors never figured it out, he kept getting worse no matter what medicine he was on. They never found any cancer. He did have hemophilia, which made what Laden did worse, but they never found the cause of him being sick. Eventually, his organs started dying, and he was given an estimated time before he would-" she couldn't finish, as she cried uncontrollably at that point.

"It's ok." This was all I could think of, and I knew wouldn't help because it wasn't true. It wasn't ok, it wasn't ok at all. it would never be ok, even if I didn't know him for very long.

"I hope it makes you feel better, I will always think of you as my daughter. I know you guys would get married one day, if he-"

"You don't need to finish, thank you. You're kind of my mother too, because we also knew that we would get married."

"I would've love to have you as a daughter, if you guys had gotten married, I want you to know that."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, but I think I really should leave. My mom doesn't know where I am."

"That's ok, I'm glad he had someone like you. You are a good person."

"Thank you, I'm glad I was there for him."

We said goodbye, and I walked home. I went into my bedroom, I sat on my bed and tried to start writing my speech. I couldn't focus, and wished I could see James again. I would tell him that I didn't care if he was dying, I would've still loved him. I just wish I could've said goodbye.

"Goodbye James." I spoke quietly, I was scared to speak louder or I would break down again. "I'll miss you, and you were everything for me." I paused, a few tears went down my cheeks and I bit my bottom lip. "goodbye."