Maybe This Time (camren/laucy)

Chapter 6

Lauren's POV

I wanted to give myself a much needed break after finishing all my exams for the semester. And I couldn't think of anything better than to go home and see my family and friends in Miami. I haven't visited them ever since I moved to New York. I chose to start a new life in a new city and going back to what I used to consider my home isn't going to help me start over. Some would say that you should never forget where you came from because that would eventually hinder you from reaching your destination. But I just couldn't go back to where it all started. It reminds me too much of whom I used to be. And after two years of refusing to go back to Miami, I finally decided that it's time. It's time to face the ghosts of the past. It's time to introduce the new and improved Lauren to my family and friends.

But I don't think I can go back home without Lucy. She's the constant reminder that I changed a lot since leaving Fifth Harmony. I need her to be by my side when the time comes that I have to face the remainders of the past. I know that by just looking into her eyes, I would be reminded of my new found strength and trust in myself. When I was shattered into pieces, she somehow found a way to help me stitch myself back into one piece again. I might still be broken in some ways but this is who I am now. I'm finally the person whom I've always wanted to be. I don't have to fake a smile anymore because for the first time in years, I'm genuinely and completely happy.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt two arms encircle me from behind.

"Your mind must be tired from overthinking everything, babe" Lucy whispers into my ear as she buried her nose into the base of my neck.

"Habits die hard, Luce. I can't help but worry especially I'm seeing my family again after two long years of ignoring all their calls and letters." I still regret up until to this day that I cut off all my ties from my family. It's not because I don't love them but it's only because I knew that they would stop me from doing what I wanted to do. They've always been supportive of my decisions but I don't think they would approve of my plan back then. That's the reason why I didn't accept any of their calls or answer the letters that they've been sending me.

"They would always forgive you no matter what, Lo. Blood is thicker than water. I'm sure that they'll understand that you had to distance yourself from everything that reminded you of your past."

"You have no idea how grateful I am that you loved me when I didn't even know how to love myself."

Lucy only responded with the smile that she only reserved for me. The kind of smile that makes me forget all my worries. It was the kind of smile that made me fall in love with her in the first place.

"Lo, I will continue to love you during the times that you find it hard to see something good in yourself. And I promise to never stop loving you even if you don't need me anymore to remind you how fucking amazing you are."

She kissed me with so much passion and fervor that it made me believe that she's sealing all her promises with a kiss. I still don't completely understand what she sees in me but I know that she's trying so hard to make me see myself through her eyes every single day that we're together.

As Lucy was sleeping next to me that night, my mind wandered to a certain brown eyed girl that made me do all things i've done. I don't have any more negative feelings towards her and I sincerely hope that she's happy wherever she may be. Because all i've ever wanted was for her to be happy, even if that meant that I had to let her go.

I looked at the girl sleeping peacefully by my side. A small smile formed on my lips as I saw her nose crinkle because of my hair falling onto her face. She was not the one whom I thought would end up helping me fix my cracks and fill my holes. But I knew for sure that I don't want anyone else but her to be with me right now at this exact moment in my life. I love this girl and I don't think any ghosts from my past could possibly change that.

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