Maybe This Time (camren/laucy)

Chapter 15

Camila's POV
4 years ago

The stars in the sky are twinkling like there's no tomorrow. I've read somewhere that the stars that we see during the night have actually been dead a long time ago and its light has reached the earth's atmosphere a little bit too late. Those stars might be dead but all I know is that they're still beautiful and worth admiring. Isn't it crazy that we admire stars that don't even exist anymore? But I guess I've always been someone to admire things that have long since been past its time. A knock on the door interrupted my apparent comparison of the stars to my dwindling relationship. I immediately ran to the door because my delusional and yet still hopeful heart thought that it was Lauren. My heart was pounding out of my chest thinking that forest green eyes would be staring back at me at the other end but my shoulders slumped when I was greeted by brown eyes instead.

"Oh it's you." I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice. I was hoping that Lauren and I have made up by now but it looks like our fight has been more serious than I originally thought.

"What happened, Mila?" Shawn asked while looking at me worriedly. We were sitting on the cold floor since I couldn't bear to smell her familiar and intoxicating scent knowing that she's not coming back anytime soon.

"S-s-she left me when we fought again this morning." I couldn't keep the tears at bay and sobbed hard while holding my knees to figuratively and literally stop myself from breaking down. Shawn took me into his arms and caressed my hair comfortingly. He makes me feel safe and secure but I can't help but compare how crazy and different Lauren makes me feel. Our relationship is like a rollercoaster with unexpected twists and turns. She always leaves me with a fire burning in my insides and I feel like I would combust every time she's near. Shawn might be a flicker of light in the darkness but my god, Lauren is a bonfire waiting to burn every single tree in my forest. She makes me feel every emotion all at once and I wouldn't trade it for anything or anyone.

"Give her some time to cool off. Maybe she's just too overwhelmed and emotional, she'll eventually come back to you. She always has and always will."

I started to have flashbacks of how I've taken Lauren for granted these past few months. She would always have a surprise waiting for me but I'd say that I'm tired or going out somewhere. I thought she was okay with all of it because she would just smile and kiss me on my forehead. I didn't know that she was feeling like I didn't love or need her anymore. People claim to need a house, clothes and food to live but all I've ever needed was her. Nothing else really matters as long as I know that she's mine to love and keep. But those thoughts are now swirling in my head because she's nowhere to be found. Is she okay? Is her heart breaking like mine? Who is she with? I may be sobbing uncontrollably and my world may be falling apart but all I'm concerned about is her safety and well-being.

"I love her too much to lose her, Shawn. I don't think I would ever want to live without her hand intertwined with mine. I can't imagine waking up in the morning without her arms holding me from behind. I can't imagine sleeping at night without a kiss from her to make sure that I wouldn't have any nightmares. She's the sun whom my life revolves around. She's the rainbow that comes after a horrible thunderstorm. She's the one I've always envisioned my entire life to be with."

"But love isn't always enough. There would come a time that you'd have to let her go if she doesn't want to be with you anymore. You can't keep hurting yourselves in the process of trying to stay together. I'm sure that what you have is worth fighting for but there's no assurance that your relationship is strong enough to withstand the waves coming to your shore. Love is a battle that some might have successfully won but not everyone gets their happy ending, Mila."

His words further scared the living shit out of me. Lauren and I have been through the worst together and I know that it's not easy for her to hold my hand tightly every single time that we encounter a bump on the road. But I've always been afraid for the time to come that she eventually gets tired from trying to fight for us. I can see the rope of our love slowly ripping apart and all I can do is to keep on holding onto what's left. I may be the one who'd fly at the other end and get hurt but I'd risk anything just to have her in my life.

Shawn eventually left after keeping me intact for a couple of hours. But before he left, he said something that comforted and baffled me at the same time.

"I'm right here, Mila. I've always been here." He smiled sadly before brushing off all the tears left on my cheeks. He turned his back away and I watched his silhouette slowly disappear in the distance.

I returned to my previous position and kept on gazing at the stars above. I didn't dare to sleep even a wink because I need to wait for Lauren to come back. I need her to come back to me. And I'll always wait for her no matter how long it may take. She's worth the wait anyway.

The morning came but she never did.

Expect more updates soon. // @1994XJAUREGUI