Maybe This Time (camren/laucy)

Chapter 11

Camila's POV

My body lost all its capability to feel anything after seeing the love of my life. She was even more beautiful than I remember, her hair is way shorter than what I was used to. It was just below her shoulder and it's a bit different that her usual look but it's definitely a good different. But I think my heart stopped beating for a second when I finally had the chance to look at her forest green eyes after two long years of dreaming about it. Even though it was hard for me to see her again, I couldn't even describe the feeling of knowing that she's back. She's back in Miami where it all started and that also means that she's back in my life. I had to restrain myself and put my hands on my back to avoid touching her. God knows that all I wanted to do at that moment was to take her into my arms and kiss all the spots in her face that make her giggle like a 6 year old child. My insides were on fire when my name rolled off her tongue. She used to say my name with such love and admiration but now it's simply a name composed of letters to her. She gave me a small smile and it gave me so much hope that she would suddenly kneel down and ask for my forgiveness for leaving me years ago. I made myself believe that she came back for me. I thought that she came back for us but I felt all my hope go down the drain when I saw Lucy with her. I've always known that she had a crush on Lauren ever since. But Lauren assured me time and time again that there was nothing going on between them. I recognized the flash of jealousy and insecurity in Lucy's eyes when she saw me. Her arms circled around Lauren's waist and I had to clench my fists to stop myself from having an emotional breakdown right there and then.

My body still craves for her touch after all these years. She makes me do the things that I couldn't even imagine doing. I willingly gave her my heart when I was sixteen and it has been in her disposal ever since. She has broken it more than once and I hate how I'm still willing to let her shatter the pieces of my heart that I have managed to fix. Is loving someone too much a bad thing? My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. I hastily got up and opened the door.

And there she was, the girl that I have been pathetically in love with for seven years now.

"Lauren?" I can't even hide the surprise on her sudden appearance on my doorstep.

She was biting her lip while rubbing the base of her neck. I immediately knew that she was nervous and apprehensive on what she's about to say. I almost died when she smiled bashfully at me. It was the smile that she used to give me when she's trying to convince me to do something. It was the kind of smile that made me forget what's right from wrong. It was the kind of smile that she knew would get me down on my knees for her.

"Hey, can we talk?" Her invitation came out of nowhere but I wasn't going to refuse spending time with the girl of my dreams.

"Sure, come in." I opened the door widely for her to come in.

Lauren was looking around the house like she hasn't been here before. Her eyes landed on various pictures on display, I saw her lips twitch when she saw the picture of the five of us on X Factor. She sat down on one of the chairs and looked at me intensely.

"You haven't changed, Camila." I could only nod and smile at her sadly. The words that I couldn't say were burning inside my mouth. I was so tempted to shout and be angry at her, but I couldn't. I hate that I love her too much. She can just smile at me and I would be able to forget all the pain that she has inflicted on me. I was willing to forget how easily it was for her to leave me. I wanted to tell her that it was true that I haven't changed because I was still the same naïve fifteen year old that has been in love with her for so many fucking pathetic years. I wanted to tell her that my heart still beats for her and it hasn't stopped beating for her even if she carelessly broke it when she left me. I wanted to tell her How I've spent the last few years moping around. How I've spent the last few years crying over someone that decided that I was no longer worth fighting for. But all I could do was nod and smile at her sadly.

She sighed heavily and ran her fingers through her hair. Oh God, how I've missed that habit of hers.

"I came here to apologize for everything that has happened between us in the past."

"I have forgiven you before you even stepped out of the door two years ago. I could never stay mad at you, Lo."

"I wish I can call you like I used to before, Camila."

She was breaking my heart all over again and I can't believe that I'm stupidly letting her.

"It's just a nickname, Lo."

She shook her head and barely smiled in my direction.

"It reminds me of all the tears I have shed for you. It reminds me of all the nights I was lying on my bed alone. It reminds of all the times that I woke up in the morning with nothing but cold and empty sheets. So no, Camila, it's not just a nickname."

My hands were shaking and tears were threatening to fall from my already glossy eyes.

"Is there still a chance for us?"

I was almost begging her to take me back. I will be on my knees if I have to. I was beyond desperate to call her mine again. She took tentative steps towards me and took told of my hands. She put it above her heart before speaking.

"This used to beat for you, Camila. And when you chose to leave me behind and prioritize your music career over me, you have already decided to end whatever we had. So, no I have given you all the chance in the world back then and I think it's finally time for me to give myself a chance to be happy without you."

"God, all I want right now is to hold you with all my broken pieces to heal." I was holding onto her shirt like she could disappear at any moment. I was desperately gripping onto her tightly in hopes of never letting her go.

"That's why I'm here, Camila. To finally have the ending that we both deserve."

That was the moment that I contemplated the saying that you should never go back to the one that broke you. Will she be able to heal the wounds that she left on me or will she just completely destroy me this time? Maybe, maybe not. 

Talk to me? // @1994XJAUREGUI