Sometimes I still miss her
Even though it's been months
Even though our relationship was toxic
Sometimes I think
About when we were together
And then I regret breaking it off
Forgetting all of the times that she lied to me
Because I loved her
I still do
Actually
I miss her every day
It makes me nauseous
It makes my body ache
When I go to any store
I think about the slight chance that she might be there
And I look around
Hoping to see her bright blonde hair
Doing double takes to the girl with the same exact shade
But she is never there
But on some days it's better
I know that it's good
I know that she's no good for me
And I realize that
I only miss her attention
The way her hand always wanted to be in mine
The way her hand gripped my thigh
Or her neck kisses
Sometimes I'll forget about her for a little while
And it feels nice
It feels free
And even though I know I will always love her
And even though she will never feel the same
I know that it's going to be okay
And I can tell because when I look at where I was four months ago
Crying and drowning in self pity
And then look at where I am now
And I know that if I can make it through the beginning of the aftermath of a breakup
I know that I can make it through the end
But for now
I will miss her
And I am allowing myself to
And although it hurts me
I will let it
Because that is what we do for love
