thoughts ; meanie

4 ; art

art

-mingyu

   For a whole month, Wonwoo took me to the coffee shop where I sat at my corner seat booth and watched him work. I slowly grew closer to all the workers, Minghao and Jeonghan becoming some of my closest friends. We have a little group but it's just the right size for us. It consists of Seungchoul, Soonyoung, Jeonghan, Minghao, Wonwoo and I. We've been hanging outside of the coffee shop which has been really nice. I, of course, got closer to Wonwoo too. He knows pretty much my whole backstory and I know his, except he doesn't know what happened to me that night he found me. I still haven't worked up the courage to even try to talk about it. Wonwoo doesn't rush me. He says that I will tell him when I'm ready and that he will be waiting for whenever that is.

   For a whole month, I have slept in Wonwoo's arms. Every single night, after telling me some of his magical thoughts about the universe and me listening to every single word, we would tell each other goodnight and Wonwoo would wrap his arms around me. I didn't mind at all, in fact that was probably my favorite part of the day. Coming home to the little apartment that smells slightly of mildew and laying down next to the most important person in my life. It's like a perfect ending to a perfect day. And I always make sure to catch every word he says when he tells me his thoughts. I want to remember what he says so then maybe I could learn to appreciate those things too. I bought myself a journal and I write down every single thought that comes out of his mouth. From him ranting about how everyone forgets minor characters in tv shows to him talking wistfully about how happiness can be found in the smallest of things, or in his case, a broken guy on a bench. His thoughts are sometimes so meaningful and deep, they change my perspective on the world. From what I've been through, I can say that my view on the world isn't so pretty. This place is cruel, unforgiving, and dark. People are killed for being who they are, kids are raped for pleasure, and there is just so much hate everywhere that it makes you hate everything too. It's basically impossible to live in this world and still think that it's a grand place. That society can be fixed. That people will one day learn to accept each other. But miraculously, Wonwoo does. He believes that everyone is equal and that everyone should be loved. That everyone deserves a chance to be forgiven. He has such a bright outlook on the world and the things he says about it too, it gives me hope. The way he speaks like he is mesmerized by everything in this world makes you start to look at it differently. His words are addicting and he never seems to run out of them. I never want him to stop talking, which is exactly what he was just doing.

   I'm sitting in my seat at the corner booth, writing down some things Wonwoo had just talked to me about. He was talking about how he hates that people judge other people so quickly and harshly. It really got me thinking so I was writing down some notes about it.

   "Hey Mingyu, still writing in that journal of yours?" Minghao plops down in front of me, his bright smile being the first thing I see. I nod my head, his happy attitude making me suspicious.

   "What's got you in such a happy mood?"

   "If you must know, I officially talked to Junhui today! It wa-" I cut Minghao off by letting out a squeal of delight.

   "Minghao, that's amazing! I can't believe you finally worked up the courage to talk to him. What did you say to him? What did he say to you? Did he even say anything to you?" I question the boy in front of me, excitement clearly evident in my voice. I'm just so happy that Minghao finally decided to man up and talk to his crush. I've been following the two's interactions eagerly, it basically being a drama in real life. Even though Minghao is a busboy, he delivers Junhui's coffee to his table. Wonwoo gave him tips on how to serve coffee to the customers so he could make sure that Junhui was getting the best experience at the café. It's sweet really, how hard he works just so he could impress his crush. He really is head over heels.

   "Well, when I went to deliver his coffee, he asked me what my name was. I asked him why he wanted to know and he said that I delivered his coffee every morning to him for the past three weeks and he still didn't know my name. And I always put my name tag on when I start work at 9 o' clock so whenever I deliver his coffee, I don't have my name tag on. So I told him and he smiled at me. Like, actually smiled Mingyu, it was like a piece of art. A masterpiece, if you will. It was absolutely amazing. So he told me his name and where he worked. And also said that I should come by and check out his gallery." Minghao finishes, his hands flying everywhere as he was talking. I know he can see how proud I am of him, he finally got the opportunity he was looking for.

   But then something hits me. The way Minghao describes Junhui reminds me of something. How he talks about how pretty his eyes are and how his smile instantly makes his day. How no matter what Junhui says or does, it only makes Minghao love him more.

   I flip some pages in my journal to a page from about a week ago. We were sitting on Wonwoo's couch, my legs resting over his as I was laying down. He was watching some show, it being the first thing that popped up when he turned the tv on. I just couldn't take my eyes off of him, the way his glasses were resting on his face, his face glowing from the light of the tv screen. It was an absolutely beautiful sight and one that I didn't want to forget, so I wrote it down in my journal.

march 12, 2016 

this isn't one of wonwoo's thoughts but i need to remember the way he looks right now because i don't know if i will ever see something so beautiful ever again. his eyes are completely focused on the tv, not moving away from the flashing lights that are emitting from it. his eyes are usually a deep, chocolate brown with flecks of gold in them but tonight, they seem lighter. maybe like hazel or a light brown of some sort. his pale skin looks really glittery with the lights that are shining against it. his jawline perfectly jutting out, making his face all the more attractive. his laugh makes my stomach hurt with laughter. the way he smiles at something funny then looks at me to see if i had found it funny too will be something i never forget. i wish i had a camera so i could capture his whole being right at this moment. it's so perfect and delicate, im too afraid to do something that could make this moment end. his body is like a statue, carved delicately and calmly, making sure to have no flaws or imperfections. but a statue is to basic and plain to compare to wonwoo's beauty. he is more like a painting, abstract and unique. a painting that is so beautiful, even the flaws look like they should be there. a piece of art that should be hung up on a wall, displayed so everyone can see its beauty. that is how i see him.

   I sigh, shutting my journal and sliding it away from me. Looks like Minghao and I are in the same boat, just trying to get the boy we like to like us back. At least Minghao has a chance with his crush, me on the other hand, mine is basically impossible.

   Wonwoo could never love such a gloomy and sad person like me. He is filled with such happiness and joy, he deserves someone that is like him. Someone who could give him happiness. I'm a walking tombstone, despair written all over my face. I could never be good enough for him.

   He is a like piece of art hung up in gallery and I'm just an ordinary person, wishing that i could have something as beautiful as that.

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a/n

hello !! i hope you liked this chapter, if not sorry i suck. please leave me some comments or vote for this chapter!! i don't really have anything to say so bye!