thoughts ; meanie

14 ; slow

slow

-mingyu

"Chan, take it slow. We literally just ate breakfast three hours ago." Wonwoo laughs as Chan shovels his grilled chicken into his mouth. I look in amazement, my burger only half-eaten while he is already done with his whole chicken. I shake my head as Vernon starts laughing because Jisoo stole one of Chan's fries in which he receives the death glare in return.

"So, just to clarify, you're okay? Like no broken arms or legs? No internal bleeding or brain damage?" Vernon looks at Chan's still swollen eye, broken nose, and cut lip in uncertainty.

"Totally fine. Besides the injuries on my face, everything is okay. The doctor said that I was very lucky I didn't have any broken ribs. I know, I was surprised too." Chan adds in the last sentence as he catches Vernon and Jisoo's facial expressions.

"You're seriously lucky, Chan. After going through a fight like that, I would've had at least seven broken arms." Vernon jokes. We all laugh and finish the rest of our meal, then head back home. We drop Wonwoo's moms car back off at the café where she was hard at work redesigning new menus and table arrangements.

"I'm so glad you're okay, honey!" She grabs Chan into a massive bear hug and squeezes until you can tell he can't breathe.

"Thank you Mrs. Jeon, but if you would've squeezed any harder, that definitely would cause some broken ribs."

We all laugh and then head home, to the peace and quiet of safety. Finally in the process of rehabilitation.

-;-;-
three months later

I sit down on the couch, feeling my back muscles loosen up. Wonwoo and I have been cleaning all day. The apartment has somehow become the center for all the junk everyone didn't want to have at their house. Some examples are: Jun's broken paint brushes that still work, Vernon's millions of notebooks he writes his rap lyrics in, and Jisoo's 50 hats.

"This apartment is so small. I wish that we could live somewhere bigger. Can you believe the apartment that Minghao and Jun live in now?" Wonwoo lays his head down on my lap as he rests on the couch too.

Their apartment was huge compared to ours. After finally confessing to each other three months ago, right after the Chan scare, they were basically married. More than they already were before. It was amazing to finally see both of them extremely happy to be with eachother. They even had their first official date at the café. We were all there for moral support and to chaperone, just in case. That night was almost as amazing as the night when we found out that Vernon had been planning on proposing to Seungkwan. I don't really remember how we found out but when we did, all of us immediately ambushed him and demanded details. The amazing proposal was perfect for Seungkwan and there was no doubt in anyone's mind he would say yes. So we spent a week preparing the secret park for the special occasion. It about killed Soonyoung having to lie to him, but he surprisingly kept his mouth shut. When the night arrived, we were all wired. Jeonghan, Woozi, Seokmin, Minghao, and Jisoo wrote a little short song for the special occasion. It was called Adore U, written, produced, and composed by Woozi and Wonwoo. It was amazing and perfectly described the way Vernon felt about Seungkwan. A quick summary of the rest of the night: Vernon had a long speech about how him and Seungkwan had been together since high school and he couldn't imagine his life with anyone else. Seungkwan of course had a dramatic reaction and a Yes! They kissed and we all drank champagne and celebrated. One of the best nights of all of our lives.

"You know, we could move if we wanted. We could actually buy a house instead of just an apartment. Wouldn't that be amazing? We definitely have enough money saved up, especially because of your promotion and me taking over the café permanently because of mom's retirement," Wonwoo looks at me with hopeful eyes and an excited look on his face, "Don't you think?"

"What?" Is all I could manage to get out of my mouth. He wants us to live together, in an actual house that we would buy? Together?

I mean, don't get me wrong. I would absolutely kill to be able to live with Wonwoo and continue to be safe and happy with him, but one day he's going to want to settle down and have a family. What does that mean for me? I would have to move out and find my own place and live forever alone because there is no way I could ever picture myself with anyone other than Wonwoo. A house is too permanent and everyone knows him and I can't live together forever. Unless, of course, I could actually get the guts to confess to him and maybe he will return the feelings. Which could never happen because he only thinks of us as friends. I internally sigh and look back at him, his eyes nervous.

"You do know a house is permanent, right? That one day you will want to start a family, and then I'd have to move out. Do you really want to go through all the trouble?" I ask, my gloominess evident and clear in my voice. Just talking about not being with Wonwoo made my stomach churn and almost bring tears to my eyes.

Chan moved back into his parents house not long after we went to gather his clothes a week after his doctors appointment. His father apologized and even bought Chan a car to make up for everything that happened. They are still in the healing process right now. But after he left, Wonwoo has been talking a lot about settling down and being more permanent. A lot of his thoughts have been about feeling temporary lately, and im starting to worry. What if he is giving me the hint that he wants me to move out? Or that he wants to be permanent with me?

I look down at his angelic face that looks up at me with uncertainty. I just want to kiss him. I want to build a life with him. I want to grow old with him and never leave his side. I've been so lost trying to find a sign that says he was tired of me that I missed it this whole time. I have completely and utterly fallen in love with Jeon Wonwoo. I knew that I had crush on him, who didn't? But in this moment, as the light from the window shines on his face, I know. I would give my life just so he could be happy. I would go to the ends of the earth for that sunshine smile of his. I almost break into tears as I feel all of these emotions flow through me at once.

I'm tired of living my life, day by day, being just friends with him. I want to be more. I can't keep standing by letting my fears control me. This time, im not going to run away. No matter what may happen, I am going to stay and take it. I'm going to fight back for once in my godforsaken life. I wish my father could see me now, finally taking what is mine. Finally getting what I deserve.

"Wonwoo, I love you." I choke out, my eyes filling with tears as I look down at his pretty smile.

"I love you too, silly. What's got you so worked up, though? Are yo-" I cut him off with a sudden motion. I stand up, letting his head fall on the pillow behind me. Sitting down was beginning to be to much.

He stands up as well, a look of concern on his face. "Gyu, what's going on?"

"Wonwoo, I don't just love you. I am in love with you. I have been for the longest time. And I was so afraid that you wouldn't want me that I just hid my feelings away but not anymore. I love you so much it hurts. And if you don't return my feelings, that's okay. But I can't keep living like this, being just friends. I can't." My voice breaks as the tears start to flow freely. This is it. It's the end of Wonwoo and Mingyu, bestfriends forever. It's heartbreaking to think that if he says no, it's all over. My whole life that I've built with him will be gone. My security, my safety, my happiness. They are all him. He is my security, my safety, my happiness. I have spent every waking moment with him for the past eight months. I can't imagine not talking to him on a daily basis. Not being able to sleep next to him every night. Why didn't I just take it slow? Easily and slowly tell him how I felt, but instead I basically yelled it at him. What was I thinking?

Wonwoo hasn't said anything yet. He's just looking at me with an expression I can't decipher. It's definitely shock, but is it a good shock or a bad shock? It's killing me not knowing what he is thinking. Please tell me your thoughts, Wonwoo. Please.

"Say something, please. You're killing me." I plead, my knees almost buckling.

He finally moves. He slowly walks over to me, his face still silent of any emotion. He gets so close I can hear his breathing. Is he going to hit me? Or slap me for confessing like that?

But he does the exact opposite.

He kisses me.