Trippy Panda

Tripping

And she woke to the sound of the headlights screaming outside the front door.

Having things swirl around your head is possibly the most expieriencing thing she's ever felt. She's one so young and yet so old. And she never happened to understand why everything happens for a reason. "One thing leads to another," she'd say. "Everything is connected. Enjoy the little things, they're the ones that matter the most."  But what little things does she have?

Just another Trippy Kid.

"Daddy stop it. Dad you're hurting her!" she'd yell. Dad, you're hurting me. She'd think. She'd break. She'd trash everything then clean it up. She'd keep Smiling. She'd tell herself that everything's okay. She'd realize that she's hurting inside but not show it because then everyone will know that she lies about everything she says. But it's not everything. Somtimes she can never tell her dreams from reality.

Waiting on some beautiful boy to save her from her await.

That song. That one song that she cries to. The one that describes her. Then there's those other songs that will remind her of them. Of how she was. Of what she could be. Of what she can be. Of what she is. She wears not just a mask, but she wraps herself in a net of webs. The more she struggles to get free, the tighter the net becomes. Will the spider ever let her go?

The nights she wept.

Confessions, over confessions. Things happen so sudden. Our world really is spinning at the speed of light, isn't it? They all leave her. She gets attached and they rip her off. Painfully they do. And she lets them. She lets them rip out her soul little by little. And she's suprised that she's not in deep trouble yet. She tries too hard somtimes to make things right. But it's not fair! Everyone deserves a chance. The again, she's had plenty of chances to confess. But she's too much of a coward isn't she? She's a coward.

She wonders if people suffer more than her.

She wants to save everyone. She wants to change the world. But how can she change the world, when she can't even change herself?

Trippy Panda

I've always wondered why the world was full of so much hatred. It frightens me. The way it draws me closer. This world is cruel. It really is. Then how come I'm so amazed by it? Every morning I wake up pissed off again because another dream is ruined. Why can't I ever just enjoy the good dreams I have now? The dreams that make me happy. I have a lot of those now. I remember when I was younger all I would really have was nightmares. Even if I couldn't remember them, I was always scared. It's not right for a young girl to be scared all the time is it? Well, I was. And apparently I still am. Insanity. At least that's what I think it is... I trust too easily. So much thoughts in my head with this stuff.

It's so loud.

I feel like my mind really never stops working at times. So much that it's always so loud inside my head. I don't think I've ever had an actual peaceful moment before. Even though its quiet out there, It's so loud in here. So much noise. So much thoughts. Everything I've ever done. Most of the things that I've ever said. But mainly, I think about my dreams. Every dream I've ever had. Especially the day dreams. I was always that one kid who'd zone out a lot and stare at everything around a room going from one thing to another every second. I don't know what's wrong with me. People say I have ADD. I mean, I guess.

There's not much I really do at home. Every day, at around three, I enter my house, go to my bedroom, and just sit there and scroll through my iPod. Then I wait for forever and procrastinate in homework. it's a pain, and I complain about it a lot, yet... I do nothing about it.