LoVeLEsS » LeRRiE

4 » here for you

perrie

After yesterday's breakdown, I'm much calmer and less hyper. I didn't talk much in the interview we did today simply because I was tired and didn't feel like it. But I'm definitely not depressed or anything like that. Like Leigh-Anne said, things like this happen. So it's no reason to completely shut down.

As we're getting on the tour bus to go to the next destination, Jesy catches my hand.

"Fancy a movie? Especially after last night. You seem like you need a pick-me-up," she says, a spark in her eye. I nod, smiling.

"That's great! I have the perfect movie in my mind." Jade says.

"What movie is it?" I ask.

"I can't tell ya! It's a secret!" She says, winking dramatically.

"You're so silly," I say, rolling my eyes but trying not to let my smile slip out.

"Enough of that! Let's watch the movie!" Jesy takes my hand and pulls me toward the couch.

"This better be a bloody good movie," I grumble as we sit down.

Turns out, it is. We begin to watch one of my favourite movies, Frozen. Yes, childish, I know, but after yesterday's events, it's highly appropriate. Look at me, using big words!

But as we're watching the movie, I realize that Leigh is missing. I ask Jesy and Jade.

"She's probably in her bunk on Twitter or something."

I excuse myself and get up and go to where the bunks are. I call out her name softly but get no reply. As I open her bunk's curtains, I see that she's asleep. Probably taking a nap. I close the curtains and turn away, but I hear some noises. I turn back, re-open the curtain and see that she's tossing and turning, mumbling something I can't understand. I watch her for a bit, unsure what to do. She slowly calms down so I go back to the other girls.

"What's she doing?" Jade asks, not even looking up from the screen.

"Sleeping." I say, sitting back down.

They don't say anything more as they become even more interested in the movie. But I, on the other hand, am stuck in my thoughts. Is there something wrong with Leigh? If there is, why isn't she telling me? Or the other girls? Is our bond weakening?

My mind is racing with questions, but maybe it's better if I leave the topic alone.

I try to clear my head and watch the movie and after many tries, I finally manage to focus on the movie which is nearly finishing.

"Another one?" Jesy asks, sounding excited.

I hate to bring her down but... "Sorry, Jes, I think I'll call it a day," I reply, slowly getting up. "It was a nice night, thank you."

"Aw, you're welcome, love. It's always good to do this once in a while. Nanite! Sleep tight!"

I go to my bunk and hear them starting another Disney film. Pfft, Jesy always says she's never watched a Disney film but that's a complete lie. I mean, how could you not watch Disney when you're in a group with two of the biggest Disney fans? I've been to DisneyWorld a thousand times!

~*~*~*~

I wake up to a war zone. Our dancers wake us up, or try to and become quite successful, with all the noise they can make. Multiple alarms are being rung, pots and pans are smashing against each other, of course the screaming and the yelling.

Jesy is the first to wake up, she gets up almost immediately and tries to stop them. Jade, it seems, is in the bathroom and is getting away from this commotion. Lucky Jade!

But Leigh-Anne and I, both of us open one eye, look at what's happening and just go straight back to sleep. It's hard but we manage to still sleep. Lucky us!

Not until I-don't-know-how-many-hours later, Jade and Jesy wake us up for the second time, this time sensibly and without any pots and pans. Thank God.

We both get up and get ready for the day. I wear just a simple outfit. Crop top and jeans with a flannel. Easiest outfit ever.

We have an interview and an acoustic session before the show tonight, so it's a kind of busy day.

We get on the road and before we know it, the acoustic performance is over and only the interview is left.

As always, they ask the normal question "Are you single?" Jade, Jesy and Leigh both say they're not, and I know Leigh-Anne has a hard time saying it. She broke up with Jordan a few days ago and we all know it's hard on her but honestly I think it's better now, her relationship with Jordan was not healthy. He never respected her job because he thought being in a group 'wasn't a real job'. I never used to think having a boyfriend that's in the industry was important, but I realize now that it really is.

After the interview is over, I pull Leigh onto the side and walk with her.

"I know it's been hard for you, Leigh. How are you holding up?" I ask, diving straight into the topic.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I know its better like this
but I miss him," she stops her words to think and I stay silent, waiting for her to continue. "I think I just miss the safety of being in a relationship."

Her words hit me hard. I don't know what to say so I just nod. "You'll find the right guy soon." I say the most overused sentence ever.

"But thats the problem, Perrie. I don't know if it's a guy or a girl that I'm looking for," she says, looking straight at me.

What does that even mean?!

"What do you mean? I'm not sure I understand."

"What I mean is, I've been questioning my sexuality for a little while. Even before Jordan and I broke up. And I'm still confused as ever," she looks down. "And I'm so scared that no one will accept me if it turns out I like girls too."

"Leigh-Anne, you know that I will accept you no matter what. And Jesy and Jade will too. By the way, have you told them about this?"

"No. I'm afraid of what they'll say and I wanted to tell you first."

"Don't be afraid! They won't say anything weird. Nothing will change. And we all know Jade loves the LGBT+ community," I add with a chuckle.

She cracks a smile, "Yeah, I know. But I still want to wait a little before telling them, I want to be completely sure."

"It's your choice, Leigh. But we still love you and we'll help you along the way." I don't want to say anything about the fans because you never really know what they will think, I mean they ship us together and all that but if all of it was actually real you'd never know how they'd react. Plus, bringing the fans into Leigh-Anne's head will only make it harder for her.

"Anyway, Pez, thank you for listening to me," she says to me with a big, genuine smile on her face.

"Anytime, Lee-lee. I'm always here for you, no matter what."

~*~*~

Yay!!! Finally an update! I hope you guys liked it because finally some action is happening!! Isn't it cute that Leigh wanted to tell Perrie first? Ah how cute. Btw I have no idea where this story is going. I mean I have an ending but I don't know how we'll get to it. Either way I love writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it.

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