LoVeLEsS » LeRRiE

10 » talk

leigh-anne

"I can't believe it's already been five years!" Perrie exclaims with a huge smile that makes me want to kiss her. But no, I can't do that, not here, not with Jade and Jesy and the dancers around. Not until we get to be together for real.

It's sad that I've been thinking this way for a long time. First it was my pathetic crush on my band mate, now that I know she likes me back, it's our own secret love song. I didn't write that song but if I had my thoughts now back then, I know I could have written a song like that, maybe even better.

My thoughts are cut off by the girls and our dancers as they envelope me into a group hug. We hug and I'm lucky enough to be holding Perrie's hand in the hug. We share a small moment after the hug is over.

I know I'm being stupid and irrational, not thinking of the consequences of being romantically involved with Perrie. But I've thought of it, maybe just for a bit, and I know that if I keep thinking about such negative things, I'll stop living in the moment and start overthinking everything. I don't want that to happen.

Sure, the moment isn't as pleasant and perfect as I would hope, but it's definitely good enough for me. I have my dream job, my best friends, my ultimate crush and, of course, loads of loving people that bring me up whenever I'm feeling down. And it's been exactly five years since it all started.

It was kind of awkward at first but now it's amazing, it's perfect, it's everything I've ever dreamed of.

"Leigh-Anne! It's showtime!"

~*~*~

After the #5YearsOfLittleMix performance and Q&A, we're all tired and sweaty and emotional. I must admit, I had a few tears, I think we all did.

We all start to change in our dressing room and it's okay because we're all so comfortable around each other. But this time a specific blonde catches my eye and I can't look away from her beauty. Perrie's muscles move as she takes off her clothes and I start to feel some kind of heat radiate throughout my body. I need to look away, I remind myself. Stop staring.

I finally stop staring at Perrie creepily and change into my regular clothes but the heat radiating through my body doesn't seem to leave any time soon.

Something about Perrie taking her clothes off, her muscles moving along with her, the sweat covering her body made something inside of me light up.

No, wait, I thought we were going slow, not jumping into a relationship so fast, getting all our shit together first. But no, I had go and ruin it by staring at creepily. I bet she saw me, I bet she thinks I'm creepy and doesn't like me anymore. What if we have to stop being even friends? What if we have to end the band?

My mind goes into overdrive and I start overthinking everything. Even things that have no connection to what's actually happening.

I turn back into reality and follow the girls out into the car. Luckily I sit next to Perrie with Jade and Jesy across from us. I cheekily squeeze Perrie's hand and get a small smile in return.

I've made up my mind. I don't want to go slow, I want to have a relationship with the girl I like. I want to be able to kiss her and hold her and tell her how gorgeous she is. Even if it's in secret.

The car ride ends and we're at Perrie's house. We turn to see she has a huge smile on her face. "Thought it'd be a good idea to have a group sleepover!" She exclaims.

We all get out of the car and walk into Perrie's house. "I have all of our favourite snacks and drinks and I have extra pillows and blankets and all that so we won't need anything more," she explains. "Oh and we'll order some food too."

"Okay, great plan! I can't wait!" Jade says.

"Tonight is gonna be so fun!" Jesy adds.

But my mind is elsewhere. I'm thinking of how to tell Perrie about my big change of mind.

"Perrie, I need to talk to you alone."

~*~*~

I'm sorry for the weird af timing and the shit chapter but I really wanted to update so vote if you liked it, comment what you thought, share if you think it's worthy of a read and follow me if you want updates and sneak peak type things! thank you!! ♡