writers. / harry styles ( DISCONTINUED )

four

Smack
+
f o u r ;

"Mars!" Lou's voice rang me out of my nap, my head pounding with worry as yet he let out another scream. "Mars! Help me!"

I got up, the metal legs of the chair I was sitting in scraping against the floor again. I sprinted across the room, ducking into the back room and instantly spotting Louis, his arms reached far above his head, an entire bundle of supples were balanced there, barely staying up on the high cupboard he was keeping them on with only his skinny fingers.

"I swear to God, Lou," I said angrily, rushing over and pulling over a stool and standing on it, pushing the supplies back on to the shelf safely. "What do you even need from up here?" I asked, peering around the dusty shelf, nothing seeming of use up here.

"The clipboard in the back," Lou instructed, his hand reaching above his head to help, only to have me smack it away only a second later. I gave Lou an annoyed glance before reaching the back of the shelf, grabbing the clipboard and carefully maneuvering it out so that nothing would fall in the process.

I looked down at the clipboard in disgust, an entire sickly brown-colored layer of dust settled on top. So much so, that I couldn't even see the contents of the sheet of paper underneath. I took my hand, wiping it across the paper multiple times and wiping it on my sweater seconds later, looking back down at the paper again.

Scarlett and Edison Roland.
   Arabella, Athena, and Marcella Roland.

My heart shrunk, my hands going numb as I dropped the clipboard, the object falling to the floor and making a hard smack against the floor before the room fell silent, my eyes glued to the wall merely ten feet away, my chest dispersing into emptiness. I haven't heard those names in so long.

   "Mars?" Louis' voice was calm, his voice wavering in nervousness and most likely worry lacing it. I stayed silent, no sound whatsoever in the café walls. My breathes were shallow and loud, the ache in my chest was unbearable as I felt my heart snapping again and again I'm rhythmic beats inside my chest. Those names. Oh, God, those names.

"Marcella," Louis said more sternly, making my vision snap to him standing on the floor, looking up at me standing on the step stool. "Look," Louis continued, my body staying statue-like as he spoke. "I didn't know what was on that clipboard, I'm sorry."

I tried to control my breathing, my chest heaving as I just stood there, the visions of the event came back into mind at full speed.

The wreck.

"Mars, come here," Louis cooed, his hand attaching to mind as he led me down the stool, leading me to sit on the counter in front of him as he stood. His thumb running circles on my knee. "Are you okay?" He asked, his voice quiet. "Do you need to go see Lydia?"

"No," I said, to both questions, really. I clenched the counter until my knuckles turned white and my hands only buzzed with pricks from the loss of circulation to my fingers. "No, Lydia wouldn't be able to help right now," I said, looking down at my lap and closing my eyes.

The room was silent now, only Louis' breathing and mine filling the room harshly. I could hear a hint of frustration in Louis' breathing. Whether it was at me or himself, I didn't know.

"Are you guys all right?"

My head snapped in the direction of the doorway where the voice came from. The piercing of green instantly coming into vision. Why was Harry here? I snapped my head back down to my lap at Louis went over to Harry, leading him out of the room as I felt Harry's eyes on me until they were out of the room. Now my own breathing being the only thing that filled the metal and tile walls of the room, leaving me alone in my thoughts.

Arabella and Athena Roland. My two twin baby sisters. They were only 4 years old when it happened. Their screams were the most heartbreaking thing as I was thrown out of the car. No way to save them.

   Scarlet and Edison Roland. My parents. Their hands were connected as it happened. Smiling and laughing together as the man hit us at one hundred-two miles per hour. Right when I was thrown from the car. My head hit the concrete first, knocking me out as everything went black and nothing filled my hearing but sirens and screams from either my beloved family or the people witnessing the awful event, I wasn't sure.

   "Marcel?"

   My head snapped up once again as thoughts of my parents and baby sisters clouded my memory, wet, hot tears streaming down my face as I recalled everything that happened that day in perfect detail. How could I still remember?

   "Are you okay?" Harry asked, his eyes observing my red, blotchy face. A look of concern was like concrete, held on his face. His hand reached out, grasping my elbow and rubbing soft circles there through the fabric of my sweater.

   I didn't have words to speak, I couldn't speak. Maybe I did need to call Lydia. But she lives in NYC and her schedule was probably booked with different patients. I feel like Louis will make me call tonight once Harry leaves. I was almost sure of it.

   "Marcel, are you all right?" Harry asked again, his fingers snapping in front of my face suddenly, making me jump back, my eyes instantly gluing to his. I mustered an amateur nod, trying my best to keep eye contact with Harry as memories flashed in my memory. Why did I have to remember this? I wish I would've lost my memory in the accident. It would've made everything so much easier.

   "No," I finally had the courage to say, my chest heaving as sobs ribbed through my body, reminding me of my aunt's sobs once I woke up thirteen days after the accident and instantly wanted to go back into my deep sleep once my aunt told me the news.

   My entire family was dead.

   That week, Lydia had told me to start a journal to keep my thoughts kept together and have a venting place that I could fully "trust", besides my mother. I was reluctant at first, but found it was the only way to fully keep my thoughts arranged and kept together. I found it helped some time later.

   "Mars."

   Now Louis' voice was right by my ear, Harry no where in sight as I only stared forward. The memories and thoughts of my family haven't hit me this hard in a long, long time. I was hoping this wouldn't happen again. Ever.

   "Yeah?" I mustered. My voice was broken and dull as I spoke, Louis' hands cupped my elbows from behind, keeping me still so I wouldn't fall off the counter.

   "Breathe."

   I let out a large breath that I didn't know I was holding in, my chest in pain from the - most likely - long time that I had held my breath.

   "You were scaring Harry for a bit," Louis spoke, leaving my side slowly and walking in front of me, trying his best to keep eye contact with me so I would stay focused and participate in conversation. "He ran out saying you had stopped breathing. He was genuinely scared for you, Mars."

   I nodded, a pang of guilt harboring my chest once I realized I had worried him. I didn't even realize I had stopped breathing.

   "I'm sorry," I said, barely being able to speak from loss of breath.

   "Don't worry about it," Louis said, looking down for a moment and letting out a heavy sigh before looking up again, giving me a sad smile. I knew what he was about to say.

   "I think you need to speak with Lydia."

§

This was an emotional chapter to write, I'll tell you that much. I love you guys. Thank you for your support on this mess of a story, already. I was thinking about possibly entering it into the Wattys this year, I wasn't sure, or maybe Neptune, I like that story more. If you haven't already, please read that story, too. Thank you all.

Vote, comment, share. X.

- brea (: