New York City, New York
Kastynn
Having to conduct many things on your own while being pregnant is a deep struggle, especially if you're five months pregnant like I am.
It's been a living hell these past few weeks. And now we're down to three days before my baby shower. My parents wanted to wait a little while longer for my stomach to grow more, but of course that shit tends to happen overnight.
It's been a few days since the ceremony, and a few days since I last heard from Terrence. Jayden is going on vacation for the summer to Tokyo with his girlfriend and her family, while Ti'Ron is stuck here babysitting me. He doesn't mind, but I know that him having to tend to my every need with preparing to bring a new life into this world, was not on his summer agenda. It was never on mine neither.
As far as us communicating goes, I haven't said too much to him. We decided to push other necessities to the side in worrying about his clueless, in-love brother and his whore of a girlfriend.
Things went back to being just about me, and mainly us. But I can't help the feeling that I've ruined his summer plans.
We did plan on traveling Europe throughout June and July, going hiking, camping, surfing down in Florida. Even getting matching tattoos and me meeting the rest of his family-- but as a friend. Now I'll be introduced as the baby's mother.
People use "baby mama" in terms of a ghetto, neglectful mother who uses the child, or children, to her own financial, emotional, mental, and manipulative advantage. I, for one, don't want a penny from Ti'Ron to begin with. I know he'll be a great dad and provide whatever necessities for our son, and if not, I'll have my dad force him to do so.
Not everything that goes wrong has to be resulted in getting the legal system involved. I'll never have him arrested unless he's a true threat, and also I'll never threaten him with the judicial system. I see what it has done to people and how ruined their lives were after it.
One failed mistake can change your life in one split second. Innocent people die everyday, as well as be sent off to jail slash prison for a crime they never attempted to commit.
As for me, I had Carlos clean up the mess I made because of a simple mistake. But I've revamped my life and asked God for the utmost forgiveness. Killing someone, my own family member, was not what I had in mind. But I did what I had to do, 'cause if I hadn't done it, she would have come after me once I left her baby's father's apartment that night.
But now the damage is done, and I'm not looking back on the dumb ass decisions I've made anymore. I made myself a better person, a modest person, and a creative one as well. Never in a million years would I have ever thought that I'd start out with leaving Atlanta, starting a new life, meeting new people, facing new challenges, and even having a baby in which I already love to death.
My life has been one hell of a world spin from the moment I stepped out of my mother's womb July twelfth, nineteen ninety-eight.
As I continue to get older, and experience more, I see the world for what it really is. The many affects society has on our people, and the many growths and changes throughout each community. Coming to New York is a different experience, and I love it. But where there's sunshine and rainbows, in another spot there's also tragedy and rain.
Where your day is going bad, someone else somewhere in the world has just gotten a job promotion after waiting for maybe two to five years. A baby was just born, a couple just married, a grandfather or any other family member has passed away. A gravesite is being visited and the person is being remembered.
YOU ARE READING
Take Me As I Am: Book Three
General Fiction"I'm focused on becoming someone I never knew I held within me. It's always a good change to become a better person than you were the day, week, month, and year before. I'm not doing this for no one else other than me. Call me selfish if you may, b...
