Take Me As I Am: Book Three

One Demented World

New York City, New York

Kastynn

Brushing my beautiful edges back into a high wit ponytail, Ti'Ron effortlessly keeps his eyes on the motions of my smooth black hair as he winded my hair into the cute blue and black polka dotted ponytail holder. For the last few weeks he's been the hair plug of mine whenever I couldn't do it, was too lazy to do it, or whenever Kiki wasn't available to do it.

In speaking on my beautiful cousin, her and James seemed to have patched things up with one another and were on the way to revival after their three week breakup.

Over the time she had been finding her piece of mind and collecting the rare thoughts, and pieces of her heart that had shattered to a million and one pieces.  The million pieces belonged to Carlos, and one to herself-- as she says herself.

She couldn't believe after so many years still allowed a man, who maintained two entire families and lovers at the time, to have a serious affect on her future decisions in life and actually not care in the end.

A week ago she had decided it was a best decision to call and tell Carlos how she was feeling, and what was going on and how he was influence of her poor decisions.  But when you're dealing with a man who has a wife, and two kids by her, as well as learning about his first kid-- it becomes a lot to take in and deal with.

"Are you going to call him?" I ask Kiki, rapping my foot up and down impatiently.

She was currently off from working at the hospital, and wanted to stay home for the day and take in her off day while it lasted.  But, of course she being the worrying and caring person she is, had to bring up Carlos into the mixed of us relaxing together.

Even Bey was beginning to grow tired of hearing his name, seeing her cry, and having to talk to her about self preservation and mending her own heart. 

"Yes, I'ma call him now." She spoke while scrolling through her recent contacts.

I saw Carlos's name and a broken heart emoji by it, and mentally rolled my eyes. 

"Hello?" I heard his deep baritone voice blare from the phone.  It wasn't on speaker, but how loud she had her volume up it might as well have been.

"H-hey Carlos, how are you?"

"What up, babe? I'm good, how 'bout you? I can't wait to see you next weekend."

Kiki slightly smiles, but it quickly fades away as she begins to keep talking. "Ummm... Carlos I just really called to tell you that..." She comes to a half and looks over at me.  I nod my head her way for her to continue.

I have faith in Kiki and I know she's doing the right thing.  He's been continuing to hold her back from moving on and we can't allow it to happen any further than necessary.

"It's over, Carlos. Because of you I have troubles moving on and being faithful to someone else. What we had is long gone. You have a family, a wife who lives you, and kids who adore the hell out of you even though they're under three. I'm doing this for me, and for once I need to feel like my heart isn't trapped. I love, I truly do and you know this. But it's time to leave things in the past sad move on. For me, and for you."