Secrets And Lies: A Criminal Minds Fic

Five

"We need to talk"

Y/N stared at the woman standing in front of her. She hadn't changed much over the years, she just looked.... older. Her hair hadn't been coloured in a while and had visible roots and she looked tired, but she still looked like Georgia. The woman who Y/N had lost to.

"Ella, sweetie. You and Ellie can play for a while longer, I'm gonna go speak with Ellie's mom for a bit."

Her daughter looked up at her curiously. She was smart and she knew there was something wrong, but the look on her mom's face told her not to question it. She turned around, looking back once more before she bounded back off to the sand pit.

Georgia nodded over to the bench off to the side and Y/N followed her, sitting down next to her and not having a clue what to say.

"Ella.... " Georgia looked over to the two girls, their heads so close together that their hair almost melded into one." How old is she?"

"She'll be six next month" Y/N replied flatly.

"Six.. Next month. So she's four months older than Ellie. Huh... "

There was a few moments of uncomfortable silence before Georgia spoke again.

"He doesn't know, does he? No... He can't know. If he did, he wouldn't have kept this a secret all this time, he wouldn't abandon one of his children. Would he?"

"Spencer doesn't know. I found out a few months after I left. The only person who knew was JJ. She's Ella's godmother."

Georgia bit her lip and nodded, remembering all the times Jennifer had looked after Ellie so she and Spence could have a night to themselves.

"So you knew about Ellie?"

"Yes."

"And you still never considered telling Spencer... Or telling me that you were pregnant with my husbands child."

"What difference would it be have made. Spencer didn't want me. Sure he would have supported Ella, and yes part of me does feel bad that I've kept her away from her father. But... I didn't want him to want me just because of her. I nearly told him, when I was seven months gone but then I found out about you being pregnant too. I just.... I dunno. It was the final blow. I lost."

The wind blew through Y/N's hair and she wiped away a falling tear quickly.

"Y/N. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

Y/N looked up and over to the woman sat beside her, totally confused.

"What? I'm... I'm the one that slept with your husband and you're sorry?"

She nodded, her own eyes filled to the brim with tears.

"The day I saw you in the park, I knew. And I knew it was you. He deleted your messages but I managed to get hold of an itemised phone bill. There's really no other reason to have messaged someone 996 times in one month. When you urged me to tell him my suspicions, I knew it was because you loved him too. But I couldn't lose him, not then. So I made him feel guilty, told him that I needed him more than ever and that I couldn't lose him. Then I told him I was pregnant, only a few weeks. I wasn't but I figured I'd fake a miscarriage and then we could actually try for a baby, I knew how much he wanted kids. So I stopped taking my pill and fed him the stories, he bought them and stayed. He didn't tell anyone about the first 'pregnancy'. I told him I was only a few weeks gone when I lost the baby. Then all of a sudden I was pregnant for real. It was selfish and stupid, I mean I love Ellie to the moon and back, but getting pregnant so that my boyfriend wouldn't leave me? Biggest mistake I ever made. He was going to leave me you know, for you. The night before you left. He told me we needed to talk and that's when I knew he was going to leave. So I told him he was going to be a dad. I'm the reason your little girl has grown up without her father, because I lied."

Y/N clenched her jaw as she took in the information she'd been given. Spencer had been going to choose her.

But Georgia had lied forcing him to stay.

Wait... No. Forcing him?

No one had forced him to do anything. Spencer could have still done right by them both. Although Georgia hadn't at that point actually been pregnant, if Spencer had been ready to leave her, then he still could have done. No self respecting woman would stop a father that wanted to see their child from actually seeing their child, and Spencer had enough standing that even if she had done that, he could have fought for custody and access, and won. And if he HAD have left her, then he would have found out she'd been lying anyway.

No, he'd stayed because he'd wanted too, because it was easier. And he still hadn't tried to give Y/N an explanation until weeks later. That was how she saw it.

Y/N looked back to Georgia who now looked terrified. She spoke carefully and quietly, trying hard to keep her voice steady.

"No. The reason Ella grew up without a father is because three grown adults lied to each other. Spencer and I lied to you, for months on end. And you lied to him. It was a horrific lie but.... I get it. You were broken and you would have done anything to keep him. So you did. And now you have him and your happy little family, and I have Ella. She's enough for me, she's my world."

"I wouldn't necessarily say we're happy.... " Georgia trailed off when she saw the look Y/N shot her. A very much of a 'you made your bed, lie in it' look.

"I'm sorry..... I sound ungrateful. I got what I wanted....."

"Yes, you did. And I didn't..." Y/N interrupted her.

"I know... I know. But he never got over you. Even after Ellie was born and the wedding, things weren't the same between us. He'd act happy and he's a great dad. But... He's not happy with me. He wanted you, and I stopped him from having you. You know what Reid's like, he thought he was doing the right thing sticking by me."

"Why are you even telling me this?"

"I... I don't know. I just.... I'm sorry, okay. That things worked out the way they did."

Y/N didn't respond, simply pressing her lips together and looking over to where the two young girls who could have been almost mirror images of each other were playing together.

The two sisters, who didn't know they were sisters, yet the way they were giggling with and looking at each other made Y/N realise that there was already a bond there.

Georgia followed her gaze. "So.. What happens now? Are you going to tell Spencer?"

"No. Nothing changes here."

"Y/N.....I'm not exactly the poster girl for honesty here given what I've confessed to you. But... You should tell him. He has another child. Ellie has a sister. Ella has father, a great one too. And a sister, don't you think they deserve to know each other?"

Georgia's words echoed through her brain and as she watched the girls playing again, she realised that the other woman was right.

"I'm not telling Spencer. Not yet. But.... Maybe the girls could play together again."

Georgia gave a hint of a smile and rummaged in her purse for her cell.

"Give me your number, Ellie and I normally come here every week after we visit my sister. Maybe we could make it a regular thing and take the girls for dinner afterwards. So they can get to know each other."

Y/N reeled off her digits and then called over to her daughter, telling Georgia that they needed to get going. The other woman nodded and told her she'd be in touch.

All the way back to the car Y/N had to listen to Ella jabbering on about her new friend. Ellie this and Ellie that. She gritted her teeth and kept her calm all the way home, only losing it once her daughter was tucked up in bed asleep.

Then she walked into her kitchen, grabbed a bottle of vodka and swigging it straight from the bottle. She slid down the kitchen cabinets onto the floor, and burst into sobs.

Tears for the life she should have had with Spencer, tears for the life her daughter should have had.