Shifting (Discontinued... For Now.)

life is a female dog

Life is a strange beast, Its a roller coaster of emotion and heartbreak. What's tough for you is not nearly as bad as what others go threw. That's how selfish humans are , Not caring about other lives or others struggles not most of us any way. I guess I shouldn't really be saying us. I'm not completely like the rest of them. But I can't escape humanity and it can't escape me. There's no divorce in this relationship.  Its weird how I can have such deep conversations with my self, I wonder if others do the same. Or mabey I'm just crazy.
"Huh" I slipped laughing at such thoughts.
" you find something funny miss..Crawford " the grumpy wrinkled bag of meat said from the front of the class. Staring me down with a intense blue eyed gaze threw his foggy glasses. I stared right back my light brown ones flickering with specks of light.
" nothing sir just laughing at how stupid josh looks in his pink bow tie." I said my surfer setting flourishing in this environment. Not many would would think such deep thought came from someone who came off as dumb as me. Any how josh was\is my sarcastic partner raking off each other when ever we could, and this had been the perfect opportunity. Although I had no feelings for him I certainly could not say the same for him that boy had been obviously been crushing on me since 6th grade. I would like him back but he just is not cute at all, not saying I'm freaking Jessica alba but I could do better.
The meat bag shrugged, and began rehashing his lesson on promnative nouns. Across from me sat a freckle faced boy named Shane who I was the best of friends with and then caught feelings, but after months of wating for him to ask me out, I lost interest. Our friendship was never the same, And next to me sat Mary. Who by appearance looked like your basic white girl. With her fuzzy pink sweaters and bleach blonde hair. Was actually goth with her classic line of
" I don't have a life I have an exsitance" and her retelling of death dreams and crap like that. She sat there looking possessed as usual. I looked down at my notebook. The doodles I had drawn stared blankly back at me.
Rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnngggggg the bell went off. I hoped up from my seat. Realizing I had learned nothing today, I sighed wondering how the goody two shoes had such good grades. Just wasn't in my nature to act smart.
I stretched out my moca colored legs. Looking super long in my jean shorts that were a little to short for my taste but it was what it was. My wavy brown and blonde ombre hair hung lazily on the shoulders of my pearl jam concert tee not that any one my age really knew who that was any way. It had been a long day and my brain felt dead, Thank god it was raining. The cool air hit my face as I pushed threw metallic doors of the school.
Goofy 7th graders came running threw chasing one another. The cool mist such contrast to that of the stuffy school. I trotted over to the parking lot. Familiar faces passing threw occasionally waving or okwardly saying hi. I mimicked them whatever they did, That's what I do without even realizing it I copy others actions and phrases or acting like a person I know their friends with. I don't even know I'm doing it its just natural. I don't really have a personality of my own its just depends on who I'm around. And if I can't read you I get real quite not sure what to do with my self. When around bitches I act bitchy, around goof balls I act goofy, around jocks I act jockey. Caught in an endless eternity of shifting.

===========================================any relation to real people or real names is entirely coincidental. Keep that in mind for the next couple chapters.