To Suck or Not To Suck? [Writing Tips]

|20| Hodgepodge of Tips/Rants

I've got two chapters scheduled to do already, but as of right now, this is more of a rant.

It's a hodgepodge rant about what I've been seeing people complain about wanting to see in stories, and then I'll do reasons why it shouldn't be in stories. Of course I'll include tips, but this might get a little bitter and uneasy to follow, because I'm a little tired of all of this.

So recently there's been this trend of everyone complaining about what they see in fan fiction, opposed to what they want to see, which is fine, I get it, some things drive you crazy. I understand. But what I don't understand is . . . have you guys ever read any books? Real books. Young adult, any of that?

My answer for some of you guys is "no".

Here's why.

Everyone wants to complain, yet they're all walking paradoxes.

They want an OC (original character) that's not perfect, yet they don't want to hear any sob stories or be a guest at their pity party.

They want variety, while they're all copycats themselves, and barely have an original thought in their bodies.

Let me run down some of the greatest hits of their problems in fanfic:

1. No periods.

As I've already discussed before, nobody wants to read about periods! I refrained from adding "you idiots", because I don't want to let my anger get the best of me, but it's really hard right now.

Did Hazel freaking Grace discuss her period? Heck no! She was too busy struggling through her life with cancer, and finding love with Augustus to worry about that crap.

Oh, you think she should have discussed it? Yeah, because that totally relates to the story.

Note my freaking sarcasm!

John Green did what all writers should aspire to do: have a character with a distinguished personality, and a story that hooks the reader from start to finish.

Why, thank you, John Green, for enlightening me with your common sense. I wish more people would learn from your success.

This is what The Fault in Our Stars would have been like if he decided to include her period:

"Why are you staring at me like that," Hazel asked Augustus (obviously I'm paraphrasing).

"You're just s--" Hazel groaned and clutched her stomach, interrupting Augustus before he could finish his sentence. "Is everything okay?"

Hazel grimaced, standing up straight and nodding. "Yeah. It's just along with cancer, Mother Nature happens to visit me once a month, if you catch my drift. It's an unfortunate event for females, that I have yet to fully understand the concept of. What do you think the period symbolizes, Augustus?"

With a look of discomfort, Augustus didn't truly know how to respond, but he figured he'd give it a shot anyway. "I think it represents the strings that hold a woman down, like a spider tangled in its own web, because in reality, she can do so much more than Aunt Flo allows her to. That's what makes her special." He was absolutely BSing his way through it, but Hazel seemed to take it in stride.

"You're an okay guy, Augustus Waters."

"And you're an okay girl, Hazel Grace."

Mr. Green, please don't sue me, I give all rights to you, this is just an example.

Now, some might say they liked that example, because, while it had traces of my snarkiness, it wasn't that horrible. But as you may have noticed, mentioning her period had nothing to do with furthering the plot of the story.