The story of Avi

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Everyday that passes feels longer than the last. Everything that happens all blurs together. I can't get my thoughts straight, heck, I can barely stand up straight. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind. I feel like I'm in a never ending hang over. Everything's constantly fuzzy, I can't balance, I can't see clearly, I can't even remember certain things. It's like I'm having a nightmare but I can't wake up. I hope it goes away soon. I don't know how many days it has been. It feels like I've been away from home for ages, I'm pretty sure everyone else who came here with us is already dead. It might just be Savannah, the military people, and I left. We aren't even the same people we were before coming here. I just want to go home.

I see what Savannah was pointing at. The Isis man outside our tent fell asleep on watch. We haven't even made our plan yet but who knows when we'll get a chance like this again. We quietly exit our tent and then walk over to where they keep the guns. We each take one and some food and water. Then we quickly but quietly go into the woods. Once we reach the woods we start running, trying to put as much distance between us and the Isis camp as possible. The adrenaline rush feels amazing, for the first time in days I can see things clearly. Everything I see has a sharp feel to it and I feel like I could run forever. Sadly, Savannah wasn't experiencing the same rush. She gets tired and needs to rest after awhile, I figure we've put enough distance between us and the camp and we take a resting break. We plan on just stopping to catch our breath but we quickly fall asleep. When we wake, the sun is high in the sky so it appears we slept in. We quickly get up and start walking. We decide to make a sharp turn, thinking of the Isis people are trying to follow us they won't think to turn, or at least not in this exact spot anyway. I start to miss the adrenaline rush, I don't like living in a blurry haze of trees and dirt. Ever since Jay died my vision has been blurry. It still feels so surreal. I don't like thinking those words. Jay died.......it just doesn't sound right. Jay shouldn't have died, he was so young. Those words feel so strange, like they shouldn't be thought or said. I wonder if Savannah is thinking about Jay's death as well, I keep looking over at her but like me she's been silent. She appears to be deep in thought. She could be thinking of our next move, or Jay's death, or our next meal. I'm so hungry. So many times since I've been here I've thought of a nice cheeseburger with a strawberry shake and a side of frys. That was my favorite meal back at home. There was a really good diner by the church that I would go to. Savannah, Jay, and I would go there sometimes. Jay keeps creeping into my thoughts, I wish it would stop. Why does he have to be in every happy memory I have? I loved him, I always will love him. I miss him like crazy, but he's not coming back. It finally hits me that even if I do go home eventually, things won't be the same. Every place I go to back at home will just be a reminder of Jay's death. I'm realizing I probably couldn't handle going back home anytime soon, it would be too emotional. I'm too lost in my own thoughts to notice that Savannah, who has been walking next to me this whole time, has started crying. I go closer to her and put my arm around her, I pull her closer and comfort her. I'm assuming she had been thinking white Jay, like me. Them through her tears, in a quiet voice, she asks me if I want to know what she was thinking about. I tell her sure and then she tells me she was thinking about how dangerous it is here, how one of us could be next and the other would just be left alone in the woods. I hadn't even thought about that, I couldn't afford to lose Savannah, if Savannah died I would probably end up wanting to die. Savannah and Jay were the most important people to me, I would do anything for them and they would do the same for me. I hadn't noticed that I too was crying now. We then sat down in-between some trees and held each other and cried. We stayed like that for awhile. We stayed like that until we were forced to get up.