"Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale." I find myself saying this every time I get into water. Breath. Just breath. In a moment like this there can be nothing better to do than breath. In a way it doesn't make any sense. You don't typically find yourself having to coax yourself into water. I find it everyday.
My body aches for the water. My body lives for the water. But there's also a part of me that has an overshadowing fear of it. Just one mistake in the water and my imminent death lies upon me. I guess that exhilarates me in a way. The thought of imminent death.
Death illuminates the human imagination. Without death, there wouldn't be life. It's not something many people think of often, but I find myself doing it daily.
I feel my toes dip into what was once thought as a life source for humans- most people think it still is- but is now to me just liquid death. The thought of that would send most people running and screaming. It just intensifies my need for it. My longing for the presence on my body of something greater than what I am. Greater than any human or any other being. It's funny to think that just some little particle could be the life stock for billions of different things.
The waves crash against my hips and I breath in a scent. A scent most don't think of in the water. Water is typically portrayed as something that doesn't have any specific taste or smell, but to me, it's something more than the blank emptiness I live in everyday.
It has a scent that makes me think of other scents. No, I guess it still doesn't have a specific scent, but it's able to remind me of different things. Like that day at the beach. Or the first time I went swimming in the deep end at the old community pool. It was a smell that I wish I could recreate but it was perpetually impossible.
I sink more into the water as I catch the feeling of water dancing on my tongue. My nose rests just above the water, enough for me to breath. "Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale." I remind myself as if I'm going to forget how to breath. I focus on my surroundings. Water. Nothing but a liquid death that I desire so much.
It's funny to think that most people look at an ocean, pool, or a lake of sorts and just think, "swimming". I look at a body of water and think, "death" with a devious grin plastered on my face.
I guess you could say I'm a pathomaniac, but in reality, death is just apart of who I am. Death, has consumed me. Death, excites me.
Ever since him.
YOU ARE READING
Him
Novela Juvenil"What the hell?" I ask, baffled to see him in front of me. "Nice to see you too, love." ------ Him. He was perfect. I could sit and swing my legs on that balcony for hours on end. Talking, just talking. Laughing about the world and h...
