Him

Five - Plans and Seconds

A/N I was only able to put in one, so I chose the black obviously

20. Today is my 20th birthday. It's been exactly one year since Kyle and I moved into our apartment. It's been exactly one year since I met him, but I've been instructed to not think of that today.

Most people on their birthdays go out to a club or have a party of sorts, but I'm not like most normal people. I'm down at the gym swimming laps.

I've never particularly liked my birthday, I don't understand why people do. It just means it's the anniversary of your birth into this cruel world, and it's just one step closer to your imminent death. I may as well do something useful on my birthday instead of partying like the usual human being until I can't wake up in the morning due to a massive hangover.

"Hey, if you want to do training we can," Kyle yells to me. We used to train all the time when we were younger, there was always a part of me that thought I would eventually find out I had some sort of inhuman power, I thought I may as well be ready for it. I don't have any supernatural powers yet, but I still find joy in training.

I climb out of the pool and towel myself down. I tell Kyle to wait in the gym while I get changed into my workout clothes.

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I walk into the gym and Kyle already has mats spread across the floor. He's now shirtless and getting ready to spar, I can already tell that today he's going to work me hard.

Five wins, and ten matches later we both have sweat covering our bodies, bruises on our faces and blood splattered. We fight hard. I wipe away the blood dripping down my lips from where Kyle jabbed my nose in the 8th round. After about three rounds I had taken off my shirt, leaving me in just a  sports bra and shorts.

"We should probably head back to the apartment, Shauna said she would be there at three," Kyle says as he throws me a sweat towel. I dab the sweat off my forehead and groan, she was probably going to force me to go to a party.

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"PARTY!" Shauna yells as she throws our front door open. I shoot a glare at Kyle and he shrugs with wide eyes as if he didn't know. I roll my eyes and walk over to the sliding glass doors.

"Nope, you're not going out there, you're going to go get ready for your birthday party," Shauna orders.

"Hah, very funny," I say as I open the doors. "You know I don't do parties."

"Well today you're going to, you need to let loose."

"I don't think so," I say with a bitchy smile. I go out on the balcony as Shauna huffs in defeat. I promised her I wouldn't think of him but it's so hard. The first time I had ever met him was on this balcony exactly one year ago, he took me out to dinner and didn't know that it was my birthday until days later. I didn't want him to know and then Shauna had to open her big mouth. He bought me a goldfish the next day.

I wish he was here.

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After about an hour outside on the balcony, I went back inside seeing that both Kyle and Shauna had congregated in the living room. I looked at the clock, it read 4:35 p.m.

Shauna looked up and gave me a mischievous grin. I narrow my eyes, "What are you up to?" Then Kyle runs up to me, throws me over his shoulder, and carries me into my room; Shauna is following not far behind. I pound his back with my fists and he finally sets me on my bed, he runs over to the door and stands in front of it, Shauna sits in my desk chair.

"What do you want," I hiss.

"We want you to have fun," Kyle says, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Please, Phoenix, just one party," Shauna pleads.

"Fine," I say and Shauna's eyes go wide in surprise at how fast I agreed. "But, I get to invite my friend."

"What friend?" Kyle says slowly.

"Kitty."

"Hell no."

"Then I'm not going," I snap. Shauna shoots Kyle a glare and he harrumphs.

"And, I get to wear the black dress I just bought."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Shauna revealed with a wink.

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Death is a relative term, it's not always thought of what it's meant to be. It's not necessarily the end of someone's life, it's more of the end of their heart beating. The end of one's life would mean all memories, all photographs, and any recollection of that person would be gone; otherwise, that person's life is not over. People still think of them, people will still look at their pictures, and people will still be able to carry on their stories, generation to generation. Therefore, their lives carry on... in a way.

Just because he's dead doesn't mean every memory I have with him is gone. Just because he's dead doesn't end every possibility of me seeing him again. I'm not a religious person but I do have my superstitions.

The day they told me they were pretty sure he was dead was three months ago. Pretty sure.

I hear a pounding at my door. Could it be him? I hadn't seen him in three months. I run to the door and stop in my tracks to see that Kyle has already opened it, police stand on the other side. They walk in and keep asking me really strange questions, such as, "Did he ever have any certain liking to water? Did he like to swim a lot? Did he ever talk to you about death? Did he ever tell you how he'd like to die? Did he ever say that he wanted to die?"

I feel the last question echo in my mind.  Did he ever say he wanted to die? Truth be told, we talked about death quite frequently, it inspired us both. But never did he say that he wanted to die, only that it fascinated him. We could sit on the balcony for hours on end and just talk about death... and water. He had always been fascinated by the certain liquid substance that surrounded our lives. I think that's where my fascination grew. After him, I didn't leave the water for more than two days.

I drop my head into a bowed position. "Just tell me what happened." I had answered all their questions but the last, because frankly, I didn't know.

"I'm sorry, Phoenix, but your friend Reid Dubeon is quite possibly dead."

That was the moment my heart crushed into a million pieces. All of my memories came flooding back through my mind as if I was dying and seeing my life flash before my eyes. Even in the short six months that I had known him, he became my life. He was my everything from the moment I met him on that balcony to now, and forever after that.

You could call it an obsession, but it wasn't. I knew he felt the same. I wasn't ready to give up on him quite yet. I start to screaming and hit the walls. Kyle grabs me by the waist and drags me back toward my bedroom. Tears stream down my face and I feel myself crumble. I stop fighting. I stop everything. Time seems to freeze.

I lift my head and it's as though I'm trapped in a moment, taking a picture of this very second to keep it forever. It's a second I don't want to remember. And because of that one second in the history of an infinite amount of seconds, I can't seem to walk the same as I used to.

That was the first time I got completely shit faced.

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MANY READS. MUCH HAPPINESS FOR THIS LITTLE DOGE!!! 80 READS IN JUST A FEW DAYS HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! But seriously I love you so much guys! Try not to contemplate death as much as I do .-.

-xLil